Axe to the Frozen Sea

No One Will Care If You Stop Writing

2012-02-10T06:00:00.000-05:00

That’s the phrase that my playwriting professor at Emerson College said to us one day. At the beginning of each class he would deliver something kind of like a “pep talk” (the guy was too cool for it to be an actual pep talk), encouragement to press on with the creativity we had been given, to use it to our finest ability.

He said, “No one will care if you stop writing.” In others words, the family and friends you have gathered around you who ask about how the novel’s coming along will really just forget if you decide to put it all away. Very rare are the instances when someone will come alongside you and make you to finish that book, that article, that blog post.

I think now this might be because writing a novel is such a big project. Those around you may be in awe that you’re doing it, but if you put it away, turn to other more mundane things, it’s Ok to them. It might be normal to them. Writing a novel is too big, they may think. Who could even do it? You gave it a shot.

The only person who can make it happen is you. If you’re waiting for family or friends to encourage you to write, you’ll never do it. Similarly, if you’re waiting for readers, fans, or buyers to create your worth, you’ll never do it either.

No one will care if you stop writing.

At the next family gathering, when they ask you how the novel’s coming along, will you shrug it off because it’s in the drawer and forgotten? I hope you’ll say, “Oh, it’s almost done.”

A Year In Review

2012-02-09T06:05:00.001-05:00

It has been one year since I committed to blogging seriously (see I Turned 29 Yesterday), which means it’s time to look back over some of my favorite posts from the past year. Check them out if you haven’t already:

Spiritual Disciplines: Thoreau, Edwards, and the Chief End of Man
A post that was inspired and written quickly, I took a look at Edwards’ and Thoreau’s views of how we should orient ourselves to God. I’d like to go back and flesh this one out.

Hurricane Songs
There were a number of songs playing on Christian radio this past summer that employed hurricane imagery. I took a look at each song’s usage; it proved timely, as Hurricane Irene was coming up the coast.

Writing for the Story
A short piece on how to structure the narrative of a story. Do you keep your own style work to work, or alter your style depending on the narrative’s needs?

Passover and Resurrection: Christ Backwards and Forwards
A long piece about the Messianic understanding of Jesus’s fulfillment as the Passover lamb.

Christopher Hitchens, Doug Wilson, and Christian-Atheist Dialogue
After the death of Christopher Hitchens, I took a look at his friendship with Doug Wilson, and asked why Christians don’t engage in dialogue with atheists.

Remembering the Target Ship
Not really a favorite post, but one that has gotten the most attention on the blog. I wrote some memories one morning about the Target Ship in Cape Cod Bay, and it seems others have memories too.

When God Pivots Your Direction
The least I can do is share what I’ve learned in my experiences, which is what I did when I encountered a refocusing in my life this past summer.

When the Floods Came Near
As Hurricane Irene came near last summer, I encountered two very different philosophies of preparation. It reminded me of the days of Noah.

When God Won’t Return Your Phone Calls
How to deal with unanswered prayer? This blog was inspired by the book God on Mute by Pete Greig.

William Cowper: A Bleak Life for God's Glory
I had read a chapter in John Piper’s The Hidden Smile of God on William Cowper, a hymn writer afflicted with depression, and wanted to share what I had found.

Not Peter, But Jesus
Really I just enjoyed the logo I did for the blog post.

Envy
Part review of Bob Sorge’s book Envy: The Enemy Within, part personal experience, I looked at the sin of envy and how it’s a lot more present and trickier than we think. This post surprising got a lot of attention.

God-Centric: Pointing Up at the Ligonier Conference
One of my top posts because Ligonier tweeted my link, this is my review of the 2011 Ligonier National Conference, featuring R.C. Sproul and John Piper.

Merciful Sponges
A short post about what it means to be absorbent of others’ faults and flaws.

Praying Your Doctrine
A piece to edify the church about knowing doctrine in order to pray accurately and respectfully.

What Makes God-Honoring Fiction?

2012-02-06T13:30:00.000-05:00

In Neue Magazine’s latest issue, Michael Gungor of the “liturgical post-rock” band Gungor commented on how a Christian can orient themselves to their art:

“I guess seeing that God is the sacredness of everything. ... Writing music, you can write any sort of music, and that can be a sacred act; it doesn’t have to be Church music. That was a theological shift for me, personally, seeing it wasn’t about me having to put enough crosses in every painting I paint, enough Jesuses in every song I write. Not that you don’t ever do those things, but it broadened the scope of potential human work that could be sacred. For me, it gave me permission to dig into some musical things and some artistic ideas I would love to do, but it almost felt selfish before. The theology shifting made it sacred rather than selfish.”

As a writer who is also a Christian, I understand the challenge of how to glorify God through my art, and what that means. I have a very strong literary fiction background, which includes exposure to all the great classics, mostly 19th c. American literature, up through modern fiction. Some of my favorite works deal with subjects like parental love and coming of age (To Kill a Mockingbird), personal sacrifice for greater good (Tale of Two Cities), sin and redemption (The Scarlet Letter), personal orientation to faith and fate (Moby-Dick), the human spirit (Walden), the internal life of the mind (Dickinson’s poetry), and connection to community (Whitman’s poetry).

But because they’re not “Christian” the church today would ignore them. These classics carry and purport many deep themes of human existence, of the Bible, and of God Himself, promoting life, thought, and goodness (one could argue that’s why they became classics). But the church doesn’t read them since their storylines don’t include prodigal son stories, or take place in a church, or climax at a preaching of the gospel, or result in a conversion at the end. They tend to read books that overtly, but shallowly, talk about the nice, neat things of Christianity.

Unfortunately, the Bible doesn’t shallowly talk about the nice, neat things of Christianity.

So what makes God-honoring fiction? Is it putting in all the right elements to appeal to a Christian crowd – church, pastors, seekers, backsliders, praying parents, etc. – or is God-honoring fiction crafting a story about sin, redemption, perseverance, doubt, struggle, growth, enlightenment, love, sacrifice, etc., no matter where it takes place? It’s not about “enough crosses in every painting I paint, enough Jesuses in every song I write,” but about infusing your entire life with the sacred, rooted in God. Therefore, whatever the content, the essential things of the Lord will naturally emerge.

Things I Learned in My Twenties

2012-02-02T06:25:00.000-05:00

Today I turned thirty. Here’s a few things I learned in the past ten years:

Life takes effort
This is a fairly recent revelation in regards to achievement, placement, and process, but I guess it’s rooted from years ago. I, as a student, never really needed to try that hard to get As and be successful in school. So I probably thought that would translate into life. Doing the minimal work always worked well for me, so I continued that trend through college and into my professional life. But minimal effort doesn’t fly in a works-based society, and paychecks aren’t based on how many As you can get. In order to get the results expected, you need to put some effort in and go after it. You can’t wait around for people to notice you, for life to sweep you up, for things to come to you. You have to get up and move.

When it comes to art, idealism decreases but authenticity increases
In my early twenties I was fearless in my writing. I wrote anything I could, experimenting with narrative, voice, style. I would pick a topic and go for it. I had no hesitations about sitting down and writing a novel (or two). But my writing was shallow, flat, not based in reality. Today I’m less apt to experiment with style unless it’s for a reason, or jump into a novel, or just write whatever. Today I’m more conservative with my expanse of writing. But I can say my writing has become much more authentic. I’ve experienced life a little bit, living a bit of the humanity of the characters I write about. My writing can be a lot more real, nuanced, and relatable because I have some years under me.

Personality sifts out
As I’ve gotten older I’ve discovered that there are certain things about me that will never change. I’m an introvert. I love reading literary fiction. I would die without being able to write. I’m a coffee nut. I like fine food. I sometimes get overwhelmed in groups of strangers. I work well in quiet places. These are things about my personality that have stayed the same over the years, things that I can predict about myself. Attitudes, behaviors, and likes have come and gone, and getting older means sifting those things out to find what has really intrinsically stuck over the years. It’s who I am.

Older people speaking into your life is a good thing
Another recent discovery, mostly from my discipleship within the church: Having older people speak into your life is amazing. We tend to think that they can be out of touch and obsolete, but those who have gone before us are the same as us, just further on down the road. Using a driving analogy, they’ve traveled before us and can tell us about the turns, the detours, the bumps, and the traffic. They can tell us about the storms, the washed-out bridges, the harsh conditions. And they can tell us that they got through it, and how.

College is wasted on the young
I never got the real point of college when I was there. I went to college to learn lots of things, and write, and put in my time, do minimal work to get by (see above) and get a degree. Um, sure. But college should not only be about learning and getting a degree, but about making connections with professors who can be mentors to you, making connections with classmates for future networking, taking advantage of the internship and study abroad opportunities, learning how to socialize and relate to others in community, and become a master of your art. Nope. I would say very, very few colleges kids have those things on their radar. Now that I’m on the verge of grad school, ready to use college as a learning, networking, and professional tool, I’m ready to get the point of college.

I have certainly learned much more than these few things, but that’s what I will leave you with now. Here’s to another year and another decade in the books.

How I Became an Editor

2012-01-27T06:00:00.001-05:00

Not many people have the kind of opportunity presented to them that I had three years ago, when I got a phone call from my pastor asking me if I would like to become the untitled overseer of a non-existent publishing division in the church. (Basically, take over the newsletter and go from there.) While I was a very experienced writer I didn’t have any editorial background, but I had the building blocks. Of course I said yes. But, um...where would I even begin?

There was no alternate creative brilliance I could translate from another career into what I was to do at my church, but there was a lot that I was able to bring by just being who I am as a writer and artist. Those early days were full of experimentation, but as a writer and editor floating a newsletter and possibly more on my own, I realized I needed other writers to help. Which proved to be tricky on my end, because I’m a loner that rarely asks for help.

It was hard asking other people to write something for the newsletter at the beginning. I was afraid to approach them, as if I were demanding too much on their time and efforts. But as I took the chance, partly with ideas of my own but mostly from the leading of the Holy Spirit, I came to find that people complied – and enjoyed it. One elder, in handing me a final draft once, said, “Writing this was so helpful to me.” Others have said that as well. I had a writer come along side me who had little experience with the medium, but who felt that it was something she was to commit to; I discovered that she does have a natural talent for writing. There were some months when I needed to write a lot for filler. There were some months when I was asking for things at the last minute. There was one month when I actually had too much material but was able to insert a page into the newsletter with the added content. And that was just the newsletter.

The assignment for a quarterly magazine was given to me a full year before it ever launched. Even after it did launch, it took a false start and another six months to reform to what it is today. But I will say that it has become a delight to me. I was supernaturally given the direction for it, and had a whole new set of writers present themselves to me. Some submitted material first, others just came to mind. The purpose and form wholly different, it allowed me to tap those willing to really get into the writing, and great things have come from it. I’ve gotten some great feedback on those little magazines.

Recently I’ve gained an awareness of the relationship of an editor with his or her writers. First I wrote, filling the pages. Then I wanted to allow others in, but wasn’t sure. Then I began to seek them out, assigning them to tasks. Then I began to lead in my role, having the vision and attempting to implement it. And now I’m cultivating the relationship, in my small, new ways, with those who write for me. Asking them how their piece is coming. Giving notes and feedback. Being honest and mature about their piece. Working with them to get to something solid. I hope to do more.

There have been many, many mistakes. Not grammar mistakes or layouts that didn’t print right. I mean mistakes with people, because an editor, while working with words, ideas, text, and print, still works with people. I’ve been arrogant and shy and uncommunicative and demanding and rebellious, but hopefully I’ve learned from those slip-ups.

I realized that not many people get handed what I was handed, and not many people get the opportunity to get thrown into the deep end for their swim lesson. Three years have gone by and yes, there have been times when it has been significantly hard, but not once did I think of quitting because this is what I do, this is what I am, this is my training, this is what I’m made for. And I realized that I have a wealth of experience under my belt now that, whatever I do in the future, won’t need to be repeated, because I got it. I learned how to be an editor, in a small way, but in a big way. There is only learning and growing to be found forth.

Check out the publications I edit at www.ltwcc.com.

In It To Win It? Writers in Competition

2012-01-20T06:00:00.001-05:00

“Do writers, when they read works of great writing, appreciate it or feel threatened?” This is what my friend asked me as we were discussing a mutually read book. The background for her was a context of performance art, an experience of seeing singers and actors in competition with one another, the bigger talent being the bigger threat. It wasn’t so with writing, I replied, as reading a book by a really good writer only makes me want to be a better writer.

But I thought about that question. Are we, as writers, encouraged by great works of literature, or threatened by them? Writers, unlike singers or actors, are creating content, not creating their interpretation of the content. Ten singers may be vying against one another for the best, most powerful, or most unique rendition of a song, the same for ten actors interpreting a scene, but ten writers are all writing their own thing. Even when those ten writers are assigned a particular plot or character, each story will emerge differently. (Think if Melville, Fitzgerald, and Kesey were all asked to write the same storyline, how different those books would be!)

The diversity of writing inherently diffuses competition. There’s little need to be the best because there is no one best. Readers’ tastes vary as greatly as writers’ style. I have to remember to write what I’ve been given; I can’t be anyone else but myself. I have to write what I enjoy. I have to write how my talent lets me. It’s a bit of relief, actually. I can read great writing and not be threatened, but influenced and encouraged.

Then again, aren’t we always in competition? To win agents, to win editors, to win contracts, to win contents, to win publication, to win a Pulitzer, to win placement on the bestseller list, to recognition, to win reviews, to win readers, to win followers, to win longevity?

Then again, it is all subjective anyway.

Then again...

The Future of Publishing, or, Why We Need Traditional Publishing to Stick Around

2012-01-12T06:38:00.000-05:00

"Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents,

and everyone is writing a book." - Cicero

There's something unique going on in the publishing world, something changing from within, roiling about, and 2011 seemed to be a tipping point. For years - centuries - there has been one way to read, to write, to publish. Now there are others. Something has been circumvented.

I'm talking about the dual trends of digital and self-publishing. You know, eBooks, Kindles, Lulu, websites, platforms, .etc. I say "dual" because they seem like two separate events, the advent of digital publishing and the advent of author self-promotion and self-publishing, yet they certainly are linked together, symbiotically fueling the other.

Let's start with the technology. In the last five years eReaders have gone from that odd thing you maybe see once on a plane, to your kid now owning a nook Simple Touch. Digital book sales at Barnes & Noble alone have gone from $62 million in 2008 to $863 million in 2010, with its digital eReader, nook, going through a number of iterations and transformations. The iPad, game changer all-around, has brought interaction with text to a whole new level, likening kids books to touch-screen video games. All the while print books continue to sell well, and I don't think will ever be trumped by their flashy counterpart (and here's why). In the rise of eBook technology .epub and .pdf formats were allowed as the standard, with more formats to come. Now anyone who can convert text into .epub or .pdf can essentially "publish" a "book" on an eReader.

Well, wait. How do the print books get published?

Through publishers. And there's the rub. Taken to its logical conclusion, the immediate access the lay-writer has to producing work that can appear in digital format could circumvent traditional print publishing houses and cause an indie uprising in the book world.

Which is exactly what's happening.

I was at a seminar not too long ago where a long-time editor in print publishing communicated the current trends in publishing today, and I got the sense that his talk was vastly different from what it had been five or ten years previous. He talked about publishing houses and agents, certainly. And for years that had been it: a writer gets an agent, and the agent gets the publisher. That's how it works. Except that's not how it's working anymore. He told us about author self-promotion, and how the onus falls very heavily on the writer these days to get the word out about their book. The thing is, having a platform is an easy thing to do today. Between Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, blogs, and all the ways to connect online, anyone is capable of growing their platform. Anyone is capable of growing a following. And anyone, now, is capable of self-publishing their own book, selling it to their self-made audience, and circumvent traditional publishing. This editor even encouraged us to self-publish a title or two before approaching agents. That way, the agent will know that we're marketable!

John Warner, in a recent interview with agent Jane Friedman, put it this way: "The optimist in me feels like we’re living in a rare time. Publishing is a massive, multi-billion-dollar business, and it’s going through a revolution. I don’t think that’s an overstatement. The rules are being rewritten, nobody knows exactly what’s going to happen, and authors have an opportunity to affect the process. I like that part of it, maybe more so than others. I find it interesting."

Revolution. The power out of the publishing company and into the author's hands. It makes me, as an author, excited.

But there is a concern, and that deals with the whole Warhol-ness of this. What will a publishing industry be like if everyone is publishing a book, and if the market is flooded with cousin Sally's vampire novel or Uncle Vinny's memoir? If publishing companies, who could be said to be the gatekeepers and producers of quality literature, are no longer there to accept, edit, and filter, then how will literature be found? Will writers work and sweat over their craft to produce quality work if every Joe can get published and earn royalties? Will there be no more prestige in being published by a big name like Random House or Simon and Shuster? Where will independent publishing companies go?

In this digital self-publishing world, will we be so arrogant as to think we don't need the wisdom and discerning eye of our traditional publishing houses? Will getting a book published lose its prestige? Or will tiers of quality begin to naturally form?

It is a rare time indeed. The future of the book is unfolding.

The Root of Resolutions

2012-01-06T06:47:00.000-05:00

"But I discipline my body and keep it under control..."

1 Corinthians 9:27

The new year has arrived, and with the calendar shift usually comes the resolution for change. The media is filled with articles on how to stick to resolutions (or the more disparaging articles on how you'll never stick to your resolutions), and there is much advice being offered as to effectively goal-set and maintain long term success.

But we're getting it wrong. It's not about changing many things, it's about changing one thing that leads to changing many things. Because at the root of every resolution is the need for self-control.

The resolution for self-control, or a conscious, mindful effort at limiting the desires of the subconscious or the flesh, will lead to achieving every other goal. I've been thinking about this a lot in the past few weeks as I'm putting together a plan for 2012. My resolutions are probably like yours: lose weight, exercise more, specific writing goals, specific financial and spending goals, read more, manage my time better, work on my relationships, etc. I began to go about each one of these independently until I recognized that the common root of each of these is self-control:

-Eating properly and maintaining a healthy diet takes self-control to say no to cravings.

-Exercising more takes a self-controlled conscious resolution to set a plan for the gym and say no to myself when I "don't wanna."

-Achieving specific writing goals takes self-control to sit down and write according to the schedule I've planned out.

-Achieving specific financial goals takes self-control to say no to impulse purchases, to delay gratification, and to ask myself if this money could be better spent.

-Reading more takes planning and the self-control, again, to stick to a schedule I've planned out.

-Managing my time better means having self-control over how I spend my time, saying no to wasting time being lazy online, etc.

-Working on relationships means I need to be self-controlled in a self-sacrificing kind of way.

Practicing self-control not only informs every area, but practice in each area is training for the other In other words, being self-controlled in eating gives me practice in being self-controlled in, say, spending money or sitting down to do work. I'm saying no to myself, and getting done what needs to be done.

Take a look at your resolutions, and change the focus. Make it not about eating better, exercising more, reading more, etc., but about one thing: being more self-controlled. It affects everything.

Blogging 2011: The State of Axe

2011-12-29T11:07:00.000-05:00

Axe to the Frozen Sea was started in 2006, but it wasn't until this past year that it became something of worth to me. Around my 29th birthday in February I decided that I would commit to blogging, and blog I did. It was fun to experiment with thoughts and form, following the lead of some of my favorite professional blogs; I gained much experience in writing short pieces and how to handle a website, and I've upped my blog reading as I look for influence and ideas.

A few things I've learned:

- Reading other blogs that I enjoy and attempting to emulate what they do is the best way to learn

- Anticipating readership is important, but I can only write what I would enjoy reading

- I appreciate blogs that are updated frequently, so I should update frequently too (and the Analytics numbers bump as well with frequent posting)
- Having graphics is key

A few things I'd like to change for 2012:
- Spend more time on articles: As of right now, I plan out my articles, but by "plan" I mean I usually have an idea, dash off the article in twenty minutes, and post it. So far I don't think my work is necessarily bad, but it could certainly be better with a few days of attention
- Streamline content: Can I admit that I'm not totally sure what my blog is? Is it a blog about Christianity and theology? Is it a blog about books and literature? Is it a blog about the writing process? Is it a blog about my life? I don't think any of those need to be deleted since theology, books, and writing is who I am. I would like to explore more of the intersection of reading and writing as a Christian (see above: Write what I would enjoy reading). It's also hard to know what topics are ringing with readers, since there is little feedback (see below).
- Blog marketing and increased traffic: This is the tough one. How do I increase traffic on this blog? I am not quite sure how, but have read some tips and hope to do more research into that. Readership has already increased 100% since last year (no readers to something is great). I'd like to see traffic double again in the next year. Axe is getting an average of 2-4 readers per day. Let's make it 4-8 in 2012.
- Better feedback functionality: This is a tough one too. With virtually zero comments on every post I write, I have no idea who's reading, what they like, what they don't like, etc. It's like I have a faceless, silent, mysterious readership.
- Figure out a good writing schedule: When I first jumped back into blogging this past February, I was writing something every day. Then I was trying to keep updates flowing on specific days of the week. Lately I've been posting when I can, as my content has gotten thin. Jon Acuff wisely suggests posting once a week for 90 days and having twelve excellent posts than attempting to commit to 365 posts, one a day, and burning out. (See above: Spend more time on articles.) I'd like to commit to posting once a week, on a specific day, and see how that goes.

Notes on the top blog posts of 2011:
#1 Remembering the Target Ship: The surprise dark-horse. Who knew everyone in Massachusetts would find this article about a Cape Cod warship?
#2 God-Centric: Pointing Up at the Ligonier Conference: My review of the Ligonier National Conference this past March. Ligonier retweeted my link and hits skyrocketed.
#3 Hurricane Songs: As Hurricane Irene approached the Eastern seaboard, I shared some thoughts about three current songs that use hurricane imagery.
#4 Beyond the Surface: Rob Bell and Biblical Interpretation: My response to the Love Wins debacle.
#5 Spiritual Disciplines: Thoreau, Edwards, and the Chief End of Man: A few posts tend to switch out the #5 spot, but I'm glad this is here. It's one of my favorite posts because it combines some different views from two authors I enjoy, both with different worldviews. Wrote it at Starbucks one day in a flash of inspiration.

Thanks for reading, and look for more fresh content in 2012. If you'd like to leave feedback, or make some suggestions for topics, leave a note below. (Don't be a faceless, silent, mysterious reader!)

Christopher Hitchens, Doug Wilson, and Christian-Atheist Dialogue

2011-12-22T22:19:00.004-05:00

Last week Christopher Hitchens, author of God is Not Great and one of the "Four Horsemen" of the so-called New Atheism, died from complications of esophageal cancer. It was a Thursday, and by Friday morning his friend and debate partner, the Christian Doug Wilson, had penned a lengthy obituary for Christianity Today. In it Wilson does something genuine, and unorthodox: he tells about the life of the man he knew. Genuine in that he spent quite some time, it seems, discussing the deeper things of existence with Hitchens. Unorthodox because Christians unfortunately tend to lean towards saying of non-believers in obituaries "Guess he did some good things, but he did not know Christ!" (see Christian blogosphere post-Steve Jobs). While knowing God and believing in Jesus are the important things, I really respect Doug Wilson for not black-and-whiting his friend - nor compromising the Gospel. His three page article is a testament of the friendship they had. Wilson doesn't reveal a superiority over Hitchens, or a fear of Hitchens' philosophy, or any kind of assumptions of where Hitchens is now. It's an article about life, a life lived. Peter Hitchens, Christopher's Christian brother, writes of the man as "courageous...My brother possessed this virtue to the very end, and if I often disagreed with the purposes for which he used it, I never doubted the quality or ceased to admire it" (read more here).

These are strange things, to read honorable phrases coming from the pens of Christians about an outspoken atheist.

There's more, and it is found here: relationship. Things remain black and white when people remain at the surface with one another. I believe if Wilson and Hitchens stayed on each others' side of the fence, the obituary, if there was one, would be very different. But these two men got to know one another, and in so doing the commonalities increased, the bonds of trust grew, and the things they could say to one another, about God and faith and doubt and existence, became more and more open. Hitchens knew the Gospel, as Wilson states, because Wilson himself told him. When relationship is formed, when people become flesh and blood, tangible and real, when barriers begin to fall, and honesty takes root, that's when reality begins.

But what about Christian-atheist friendships and dialogue? That is a question the relationship of Hitchens and Wilson has lead me to ask. Is there commonality? Much interfaith work among the religions of the world is based upon having faith in God, but when one doesn't believe in God, can there be a bond? Atheism is inherently an intellect's pursuit, while Christianity tends not to be. Then again, Doug Wilson is an incredibly intellectual guy - could their brains have been their link? I wonder if the advent of an "intellectual Christian" challenged Hitchens. Then again Hitchens, according to Wilson's article, wanted his book tour to include those of faith in open dialogues. I wonder if the advent of a "humble atheist" challenged Wilson!

Who knows why the came together, but I wonder why we don't see more Christian-atheist dialogues - or do we? I know I've had plenty of them. Perhaps they are more commonplace than we think. But I think there is a fear from the Christian side, and an ill-equipping. A fear, because we may think we'll be somehow convinced of our own foolishness of faith; an ill-equipping because churches put very little stress on knowing the Bible, knowing theology, and knowing apologetics. If atheism is inherently an intellectual's "faith," does the disconnect come in knowledge? The Bible tells us to seek after knowledge, gain the wisdom of the Lord. To know the things of God, to be able to speak about it when asked. Are we lacking in Christian-atheist dialogues because we Christians are just too ill-prepared to have the deeper conversations?

I'd be curious to see what you think.

Doug Wilson on the death of Christopher Hitchens from Canon Wired on Vimeo.

Click here for more on the documentary of their dialogues, COLLISION.

The Extra Thing That's Really Necessary

2011-12-07T23:36:00.000-05:00

I get it now. I see how the shift can come, from once envisioning a future full of the completions of the inspirations of the young adult years, when everything is wide and dreams are the substance of the future path, to having a pretty good life but regretting that one thing: "Remember when I was going to be a writer/artist/musician/etc....?" I see how that dream of artistic pursuit can slip and fade. It's very easy.

I've been experiencing this recently, in looking at my writing and my career, my past and my future. There was a time when writing was a hobby, but an obsessive hobby, writing away without any thought to craft, though I was crafting. I wrote my first novel in high school without a second thought. Completely re-wrote it in college. Started other novels. Wrote another massive work just after college. Wrote many short stories for the classes I was taking, many pieces of experimental things and narratives, maybe good things and many not so good things. It was easy. It was enjoyable. It was what I did. I was taking chances, risking in my art. I had no sense of anything else. I envisioned my Pulitzer. My head was in the clouds, but that's a good place for it to be as a young artist.

It's been six years since I graduated and in that time I've worked on novels and stories and the like, but I've also had to work. The vision of immediate publication and a million dollar advance for my brilliant first novel never came. The loans piled up. I still have yet to get paid for a single story.

It's a different dream now.

Once I could just sit down and write a novel. Today that is a daunting thought. Once I could just write and not care about what came out. Now I have specific goals in my craft. Once it was all I was supposed to do at college. Now I have a lot of other things to do first. Once it was all so easy. Now, it's not.

Like, I have a good job, and some financial goals, and other activities in my life, and social engagements, and things to save up to buy, and writing short stories and a novel...? A few days, and then a few weeks, and then there's no writing at all.

Because it's an extra. It's an add-on to life. Art is not a necessity in the realm of food, house, bills, friends, etc. So it's easy to let it go. To dapple every so often. To write maybe on a weekend, when you feel like it. Because in the realm of things it's not the center anymore. It's not a necessity.

But for the true artist, it is. It always will be.

And it must be fought for in the midst of a settled life. To any fire-in-the-bones artist it's a necessary extra. Which means, I fit it in. Which means, I continue to chase after it. Which means, I make choices that continue to move towards that dream. Which means, I make sacrifices in the face of the settled, safe life. I keep myself uncomfortable.

If it means writing a story one sentence at a time because that's all I can fit into my busy schedule, then I do it. If it means bringing my laptop to work every day and writing what I can during lunch, I do it (be careful not to spill food on the keyboard). If it means gaining a nice, secure job but wanting to go after that master's degree, it means going after that master's degree and figuring the finances out. If it means doing the legwork to find the right literary magazines to send stories to, then it means doing the legwork. If it means you set your brain to unconsciously work out details of character and plot while you're staring at a computer screen at work, then that's how you craft your story. If it means enduring a day job in order to set yourself up for fulltime writing, then you make the best of that day job because there's a goal to get to.

Because it really does matter.

What sacrifices have you made for your art?

From "Crossing Brooklyn Ferry"

2011-11-27T23:58:00.000-05:00

I delight in this poem's symbolism, all the layers working. One of my favorite parts, the common experiences of humanity:

It avails not, neither time or place—distance avails not;
I am with you, you men and women of a generation, or ever so many generations hence;
I project myself—also I return—I am with you, and know how it is.

Just as you feel when you look on the river and sky, so I felt;
Just as any of you is one of a living crowd, I was one of a crowd;
Just as you are refresh'd by the gladness of the river and the bright flow, I was refresh'd;
Just as you stand and lean on the rail, yet hurry with the swift current, I stood, yet was hurried;
Just as you look on the numberless masts of ships, and the thick-stem'd pipes of steamboats, I look'd.

I too many and many a time cross'd the river, the sun half an hour high;
I watched the Twelfth-month sea-gulls—I saw them high in the air, floating with motionless wings, oscillating their bodies,
I saw how the glistening yellow lit up parts of their bodies, and left the rest in strong shadow,
I saw the slow-wheeling circles, and the gradual edging toward the south.

I too saw the reflection of the summer sky in the water,
Had my eyes dazzled by the shimmering track of beams,
Look'd at the fine centrifugal spokes of light around the shape of my head in the sun-lit water,
Look'd on the haze on the hills southward and southwestward,
Look'd on the vapor as it flew in fleeces tinged with violet,
Look'd toward the lower bay to notice the arriving ships,
Saw their approach, saw aboard those that were near me,
Saw the white sails of schooners and sloops—saw the ships at anchor,
The sailors at work in the rigging, or out astride the spars,
The round masts, the swinging motion of the hulls, the slender serpentine pennants,
The large and small steamers in motion, the pilots in their pilot-houses,
The white wake left by the passage, the quick tremulous whirl of the wheels,
The flags of all nations, the falling of them at sun-set,
The scallop-edged waves in the twilight, the ladled cups, the frolicsome crests and glistening,
The stretch afar growing dimmer and dimmer, the gray walls of the granite store-houses by the docks,
On the river the shadowy group, the big steam-tug closely flank'd on each side by the barges—the hay-boat, the belated lighter,
On the neighboring shore, the fires from the foundry chimneys burning high and glaringly into the night,
Casting their flicker of black, contrasted with wild red and yellow light, over the tops of houses, and down into the clefts of streets.

- Walt Whitman, 1855

Responsible to Money?

2011-11-16T20:23:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking about writing a blog post on money and how Christians (or at least me as a Christian) gets it wrong in the other direction. By that I mean, it's so stressed in the Church that we shouldn't worry or care about money that we just don't — and neglect our responsibilities to work, to pay down or off debt, to our families, to ourselves as careered individuals, etc.

Thoughts?

Great House - Book Review

2011-11-09T18:05:00.000-05:00

When I went to see Nicole Krauss last month at a writer's seminar hosted by the University at Albany, she described the process of writing Great House as crafting four separate narratives and then "keeping them apart from one another as long as I could." She didn't want to feel that the plot had been deliberately weaved together, the symbolism and metaphors constructed so as to affect the reader. Instead, she allowed the characters' lives to deepen and grow through the process, but kept them apart until their connections could come together, however loosely, at the end. It was with this in mind, and with my own understanding of how a writer crafts characters and story, that I read Great House.

The book jacket prepares the reader for what is contained within the covers by describing Great House as a series of narratives with a large desk at the center of the story. I wouldn't exactly say that. The desk, yes, is the vehicle that connects all of the narratives, but this desk - large and imposing, with many drawers and a history - becomes a presence, albeit weighty, in the background. The desk becomes a symbol at the end, but its ultimate metaphoric significance is not very well articulated, along with why the novel is called Great House. (It is from a Biblical passage, but the connection of the verse to the rest of the novel is only somewhat able to be made.) The book's strength lies in its narratives.

Usually I am wary of multiple first person narratives, and for good reason. If a writer is going to attempt speaking from the point of view of different people, those voices better sound different from one another, or else the entire fourth wall is shattered. Krauss handled her personae well, and while the female narrative voices could tend to sound similar, they all stayed pretty much distinct from one another. The voice of Aaron, the Israeli father, seems most distinct, and throws a variation into the theme, if the others seem too paralleled.

Needless to say this is a character driven novel, unraveling passions and psychologies and assumptions and longings in each. Krauss gives a good sense of each character, but, as she admitted at the seminar, keeps their stories very separate until they need to blend, which added a kind of exciting tension in the anticipation of finding out who connects to whom. Writers who invest in their characters seem in small demand nowadays, but it's really well-fleshed out characters interacting with one another that makes for great plot.

I've seen completely mixed reviews of this novel, so it's not for everyone. But for, as I've already said, well-written characters studies in a well-handled narrative style, go for Great House.

Writing for the Story

2011-11-03T17:16:00.000-04:00

When setting out to construct a story, there's two ways to approach narrative choice: write the story in the narrative style the writer has developed for themselves, or write the story in the narrative style that best serves the story. It's a decision each writer either deliberately makes for their career, or falls into as they begin to compile a body of work.

There are a number of authors known for their distinct style, a kind of personal branding that will be found in everything they write. When they write a story, the plot and characters will be filtered through that style. It may serve that author well (Hemingway's distinct style became a trademark of his writing, whatever plot or character he may have been writing about) or it may not serve that author well (Chuck Palahniuk's narrative style, while unique, sounds like the same character has written every single one of his books.) The reader inherently will follow that author's brand; even though they may "know what they're going to get" they look to see how that author will treat whatever storyline they've chosen for their work.

The converse is to alter narrative style depending upon the needs of the story, using sentence structure, vocabulary, POV, etc, to add to the emotion and experience evoked by the story. It's certainly more of a challenge to the author, who has to adjust their writing style each time they sit down to their computer. It creates less of a personal brand, forcing the focus instead on the integrity and craft of the writing. For example, writing a novel about intellectuals may mean adopting a broader vocabulary, intricately crafted sentences, and use of high style and imagery to create the environment's feel; writing a novel about farmers may mean adopting a simple vocabulary, shorter sentences, and imagery that includes a higher awareness of the earth and animals. Writing a novel from the point of view of a teenage boy in NYC is going to need to sound a lot different than writing a novel from the point of view of a middle aged woman in China. Susan Minot has adopted this kind of story-by-story altered form in order to serve her novels. Evening utilizes a non-linear narrative with stream-of-consciousness passages that replicate the wandering thoughts and memories of a dying woman on morphine; Folly is a more plot-driven novel and uses a straight forward narrative voice. Colson Whitehead, author of the new release Zone One, talked recently of his narrative voice decisions in the novels he's written, and how a particular style did or did not fit the main character or the themes of the book. In writing a story about a character who is spiritually dead and in a cyclic lifestyle, I used repeated phrases and scenes in order to evoke that feeling to the reader.

The next story you write, or as you move forward with your writing career, make sure to have that conversation with yourself: am I writing for my own style, or am I writing for the story's style?

Happy Reformation Day

2011-10-31T17:17:00.001-04:00

On this day in 1517, Martin Luther nailed his famous 95 Theses to the door of the Wittenberg Church, the official beginning of what became known as the Protestant Reformation. In simplistic terms, Luther was protesting against the corruptions of the Catholic Church, the reigning state church at the time, and its mishandling of Scripture, faith, and teachings. Theologically, Luther desired a return to the truth of the Bible, a rediscovery of who Jesus is and what faith should be according to the Bible. Something over the years had been hi-jacked; it was that “something” Luther began the fight for, which would be taken up by John Calvin, Ulrich Zwingli, William Tyndale, and others who were willing to risk their lives for the sake of the Gospel.

The Protestant Reformation wasn’t just a debate of ideas. A replay of the first century church’s struggle against an idolatrous Roman empire, the men and women of Europe who were willing to believe the Bible and follow what it says were under threat of arrest, torture, and death. They held firm to what they called the Five Solas:

Sola fide: Justification - the saving act of God - is, for a Christian, based on believing in Jesus alone, and not by works, as it declares in Ephesians 2:8-9: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” By saying that faith alone (sola fide) constitutes saving faith, they were rejecting the Catholic Church’s insistence that saving faith comes through Christ and works. (For an excellent little booklet on this, read R.C. Sproul’s Justification by Faith Alone.)

Solus Christus: Christ is the only means through which salvation is attained, and access to the Father is granted (“Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me’” [John 14:6].) The church at the time encouraged other ways of achieving salvation and eternal life through works, monetary purchase, etc.

Sola gratia: It is through the free gift of grace, extended from the Lord, that we are saved and become adopted sons and daughters of the Most High. Again, Paul writes, “For by grace you have been saved through faith.” God’s extension of grace to us is the only means by which we are saved, not by anything else. The church at the time, again, taught otherwise.

Sola scriptura: Scripture alone, the inerrant, inspired word of God, is to be the final authority on who God is, on His plan of salvation, and on how we as Christians should live. Because “All Scripture is breathed out by God” (2 Tim. 3:16), it inherently holds a greater weight and authority above any further word from the church or man. The Reformers were protesting to the fact that the church at the time was adding to the word of God, or denying laity access to the word of God.

Soli Deo gloria: The Lord alone is to be worshiped. “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. ... It is the Lord your God you shall fear. Him you shall serve and by His name you shall swear. You shall not go after other gods, the gods of the peoples who are around you, for the Lord your God in your midst is a jealous God...” (Deu. 6:4-5, 13-15). Only the Lord is to be worshiped, and not, as the church insisted, really good men.

There were also other non-Biblical church practices that the Reformers protested again, to bring an overhaul to the Catholic Church. It was also the beginning of the efforts to translate the Bible into the languages of the commoners, in order to give them access to Scripture. As it stood, the Bible was only in Latin, and "readable" only by the higher clergy

Today, walk into Barnes & Noble and go to the Bible section. You'll find about four full bays of Bibles! You probably have a Bible laying around your house somewhere or, like me, a Bible pretty much in every room (and in the purse!). Look at that Bible and realize that there were men who were burned at the stake, tortured, cut up, flayed, and all manner of heinousness because they wanted to make that Bible available for you.

Today, my pastor can say from the front of the room to his congregation that we no longer have to worry about working our way into a relationship with the Lord, but we get there by grace through faith in Jesus Christ alone. There was a time when saying that out loud would have been grounds for his arrest and death. The Reformers were those who "loved not their lives even unto death" (Rev. 12:11), devoted to getting the Gospel right.

I encourage you to learn more about the Protestant Reformation and how men and women who loved and believed God at His word fought for truth in the church; I encourage you, Christian, to reflect upon what has been granted to you by the sacrifice of those men and women, especially as you read your Bible - your own copy, held in your own hands, in your own language.

Boston Book Festival 2011

2011-10-17T23:04:00.000-04:00

There's very few times when, in attending an event, you catch a little slice of heaven. It does happen, and it's amazing when it does; it becomes not only about content, but about possibility, a microcosm of the greater conversation that abounds outside the event. I'm talking about the Boston Book Festival, held this past Saturday in Copley Square in Boston. Now in its third year, the BBF is a writer's dream, a bookworm's fantasy, a bibliophile's nirvana; over a hundred authors, dozens of exhibitors, lots of venues, live music, free stuff, people dressed up in storybook character costumes, workshops, readings, signings, and a whole bunch of creatives made the event truly alive with literary energy and possibility.

I love that there's stuff like this. A day-long event that caters to my love of literature, sharing it with the like-minded. Grub Street, Boston's non-profit writing center, were the hosts of the writing workshops at the BBF. I attended "How to Navigate the Publishing World," an hour-long talk by Alan Rinzler, book editor for some pretty big-name authors. It was great to hear his take on traditional print versus ebook publishing, and how important - and easy - it is for the writer to establish his or her platform just by going online. When asked how many people were working on a book project about thirty of us raised our hands. That's the kind of environment I love!

The exhibitors (who daringly held down their booths and their books during the high winds) were eclectic, including Boston book stores, small presses, literary magazines, writing associations, colleges, book marketing firms, child literacy organizations, the Actors' Shakespeare Project, the Antiquarian Book Fair, the Writers' Room, and much more (including a cupcake truck and gourmet grilled cheese). Berklee School of Music sponsored the festival stage and provided a musical backdrop for the event. I did get to catch their Poetry Slam by some very talented, creative word performers.

Featured author events of the day (all of which I wanted to go to!): Richard Russo talking about "The Whore's Child," the short story central to the BBF's "One City One Story" campaign that invited everyone in Boston to read it and come discuss it with the author (30,000 free copies were given out all across the city); Michael Ondaatje's keynote speech; "New England Stories" reading, which I attended and enjoyed; all the fiction panels, including Ha Jin, Jennifer Haigh, Steve Almond, Gregory Macguire, Chuck Klosterman, and more; the Civil War non-fiction panel; "Writer Idol" where attendees' stories were performed and judged; Kenneth C. Davis hosting the "Don't Know Much About Boston History" live quiz; Mo Willems and that crazy pigeon of his that drives me crazy!

I may be biased, but I give props to my alma mater Emerson College who saw a great opportunity for exposure at the BBF and took it. One of only a (disappointingly) few colleges represented there, Emerson didn't just have a booth, they had four! One whole side of one of the rows was just Emerson College, with information about their MFA in Creative Writing/MA in Publishing degree programs, Professional Studies programs, Ploughshares literary magazine, and Redivider literary magazine. They made the effort as forerunners in writing and publishing communications to get into the conversation that day and make themselves available, students and professors alike. That shows a commitment to engaging the Boston book culture.

A great, book-geek-tastic day. For anyone who loves books, enjoys writing, appreciates intellectual pursuits, or wants to just hear some good writing read aloud, get there next year. I'm excited to see how this event is going to evolve, and if it could become the New England answer to the NYC Book Expo, or if it'll have its own funky Boston flare. Whatever it becomes, I'm glad it exists, and look forward to running around Copley Square next year to drink in all I can of the offerings.

Fresh Stories and New Publications

2011-10-14T11:13:00.000-04:00

I've discovered that, as a writer, it takes a while to build the momentum of a writing career. Back in high school I thought I could write a novel in my free hours after school, and that it would get published and I would win the Pulitzer before I'm 30 (Columbia University, you have, like, three months left). That didn't happen, though not for lack of trying (and 19 rejection letters later). But am I looking at a literary win, or a literary career? Quick things are fleeting. It's in the struggle of producing art that art is produced. It's after a million bad words that the good words begin to come. It's a "long obedience in one direction" (to reluctantly quote Nietzsche), and I've learned that even though I'm ready to write the stories, maybe the stories aren't ready to be written. What do I need to learn as a person first before due treatment can be given to the subject matter? My first stories were like television shows or movies: plot-driven, stereotypical, entertaining. I want my stories to be like excising the soul, exposing beauty and pain and desire, rendered in lyrical harmony - or dissonance - in attempts to describe the undescribable, to put words to the unspoken gestures and meanings of existence. It's getting there.

New Stuff

I recently finished two stories, of 7000 - 8000 words each: "Constructing Longstreet" and "Day of the Dead." The first I had started six or seven years ago in Boston, and wrote a few drafts and then intended it to be a longer, perhaps novel-length, piece. Then I put it away. What came out after years of gestation is what I had hoped for. It is currently awaiting a yes or no at a well-known literary journal. The second is a piece I stared who knows how long ago. No pre-writing or character sketches exist, just the kernel of an idea in my brain that I've carried around all this time. I'm pleased with the way it came out as well, and will work on revisions for it soon. I'm also waiting for a yes or no for another story, "Cracks in the Plaster," I wrote last year, and tooled with over the winter.

Short Fiction at Boston Literary Magazine


Boston Literary Magazine - www.bostonliterarymagazine.com

Recently I had a piece of flash fiction published online at the Boston Literary Magazine. It's an online journal of "flash" or "quick" fiction, a sub-genre that has taken off quite magically in the past ten or fifteen years. Usually the story is not more than 500 words, and can be as short as 100 or 50 words; the challenge is to fit a complete story into that constraint. Check out the Boston Literary Magazine for some amazing examples of art in tiny spaces, so to speak, and click the "Quick Fiction" link to find my piece "Documentation."

"Acquaintances in Art" at Corkboard: A Place for Literary Journalists


Corkboard: A Place for Literary Journalists - http://corkboard.journalism.wisc.edu/

This past winter I submitted a piece to Corkboard, a place I found online somehow through some link. However I found it, their call for submissions for creative non-fiction about music sparked my imagination and I got writing about my experiences as a musician with the Northeast House of Prayer. I was pretty pleased with the piece. I guess they were as well, enough to feature it in their "EP" section of their music issue. You can read it here.

What's Next?

Keep plugging away. Fiction is my home. I maneuver well in it; at the same time, I have much to learn. I'm trying to slow down in my writing, to dwell in the moment, to push it through to its limit (a Mark Doty piece of advice). I gravitate towards a more poetic style to my prose, so I know I'm getting sloppy when things start reading like a James Patterson novel. Slowing down, dwelling, getting into the internal monologues of characters. Soon I will try a non-linear narrative. On the horizon as well is doing a MFA in Creative Writing. I'm lining up my applications (there are two schools I'm looking at), and looking forward to the opportunity to get back in with a community of like-minded literary associates.

I would love for you to leave a comment of a story idea!

Jesus Is Coming Back Next Week

2011-10-12T14:09:00.000-04:00

I've heard some interesting things lately in my Christian world about when Jesus is coming back. I've heard things like, "Watch and pray, because Jesus is coming soon. Not next week, but soon." Or, "We have to be ready for when Jesus returns. It may not be in our lifetimes, but soon."

We were so quick to point at Matthew 24 and 25 in the face of Harold Camping's prediction of Jesus returning on May 21 this past spring (which didn't happen), saying that no one can know the time of the end. Jesus Himself says, "Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour" (Matt. 25:13) and "But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only" (Matt. 24:36). We were quick to affirm that Jesus would not come on May 21 because no one knows when He is coming. All we know is that He is coming, to vanquish His enemies and set up His eternal kingdom on the earth, reigning from Jerusalem.

But it won't be next week. Or in our lifetimes.

And I ask, why not?

Jesus talks about watching, waiting, and learning the signs of the times, which any Christian who has been called by God seriously will do. The entire 24/7 prayer movement's theology is rooted in a view towards the end of days, when the earth will be renewed and the Lamb will open the scrolls and everything will be restored. The nations will come to know the gospel. The world will come to know the glory of God. The enemies of God will be wiped out. Prayer and worship will be what we delight ourselves in, as the story of history comes full circle back to Eden. There should be an urgency in looking towards the end of days. And it should affect every aspect of our lives: the way we pray, the way we speak to others, the way we use our time and money.

But if He's not coming back anytime soon, then we can relax.

Put off talking about Jesus until later.

Take some time in our fight against sin in our lives. Well, if He's not coming back any time soon, then why should we?

Linger. Relax. He's not coming back next week.

But what if He was?

What if we started talking like next month wasn't going to exist as we knew it? What if we started preaching as if Jesus was going to come back next Tuesday, and you had less than a week to prepare. How would life be different? What if we started thinking that it really could be in our lifetime when He comes back. That we really would be the ones to witness the tribulation, the epic battles, the storms in the earth, the real glory of God physically present in the Son of Man on a white horse leading an army in Israel, all on the evening news. How would that change things? How would that change conversations if you knew maybe it was the last time you'd speak to your friend or relative or co-worker before His return.

What if we really believed Jesus was coming back in the next ten days?

It very well could happen.

Brainstorming Life

2011-10-03T16:34:00.000-04:00

One of the most fun things to do as a fiction writer is brainstorm. Before a word is ever written the story is created in the writer's brain; characters are invented and given space, timelines are formed, plot twists are weighed, lifestyles and interests and personalities are added, drama builds, dialogue is practiced. The writer is playing with lives, tinkering with the best combinations. It is the most exciting, most hopeful part of the process.

It's after character, setting, plot, narration, and all the details of craft are settled that the rigorous work begins. That is the time to put pen to paper (fingers to keyboard), and crank out a final product. The act of writing, involving diligence, perseverance, and often lack of "the muse," is one of the hardest tasks. Yet achieving a final copy of a creative piece is its reward. There is no creative piece - novel, short story, composition, painting - without brainstorming. Yet there certainly can be the creation of a story without it ever getting out of the writer's mind. Ideas, dreams, and stories are the brain matter of humanity. Ideas that become something are given life through the work of the writer. But it's only through work that those stories are ever given life.

Our lives are the same. We dream of what we would like to accomplish, of what we would like our lives to look like. We brainstorm our possibilities and create the paths and combinations we desire to accomplish. Once the ideas are formed we must then act them out - the hardest work. Like pushing out a novel for a year one word at a time we must push out our lives one moment at a time, working towards a complete work that was once just an idea, a concept, a hope, or a vision. Unfortunately, like so much art, so many lives will be lived only inside our heads. Very few dreams will ever manifest into reality. There must be work.

As Thoreau said, "If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."

When God Won’t Return Your Phone Calls

2011-09-21T13:49:00.000-04:00

All of us have run late for something important. It doesn’t matter the reason why we find ourselves behind, but inevitably we all come to that place: the place of frantic panic, wanting to move faster, but powerless and helpless to do so. It may be drying your hair as the minutes tick away, it may be stuck in crawling traffic fearful of the consequences of missing the meeting. Forward progress is made, and must be made, towards arriving, but circumstances beyond our control have prevented us from achieving it in due time.

So it is with unanswered prayer. Is there a panic that can happen when answers we desire are behind schedule? Certainly. In our click-and-receive culture, can we be left in confusion and doubt when the words we need are not given in an immediate, or even timely fashion? Sure. Do we find ourselves helpless and even hopeless when the One directing our steps leaves us waiting to hear the next move? Absolutely.

If “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life” (Prov. 13:12), then why won’t God return our phone calls? How do we live when the One who is life seems to hide His face or turn off His ringer?

There are clues to help us along this dark path. In his book God on Mute, Pete Greig, founder of the 24/7 prayer movement, offers stories of friends whose faith has been cracked in some way by God’s unmoving hand, whether it be praying for a baby to stop crying, or elusive healing in sickness. He is transparent about his own wife’s suffering in illness, and offers an extensive, but by no means exhaustive, list of why things may not be budging. He discusses motive (“Are my prayers essentially just selfish?”), doctrine (“Does my prayer reflect God’s character and His promises in the Bible?”), common sense (“Am I asking God to do something stupid, meaningless, or illogical?”), and Satanic opposition (“Is my prayer in line with God’s will but experiencing specific demonic resistance?”), among other things. But when silence still pervades, faith must step in; “It’s not that He’s saying ‘yes,’ ‘no,’ or ‘not yet’ to our prayers; it’s that He’s not saying anything at all. We pray and pray but God remains silent. We ask for help and He appears to ignore us. We try to make sense of our situation and there is no explanation, no revelation, no intimation that God even cares. We may wonder if He’s there at all.”

We find this exact expression of unreturned longing, and a clue to our faithful response, in King David’s cry of Psalm 13. Like many of us have, he demands, “How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?” But then David proclaims this: “I have trusted in Your steadfast love.” He is speaking about the Lord’s faithfulness that he found before, and will hope in again. His declaration of his heart’s rejoicing means that he’s looking forward to a time that will be filled with the closeness of God - he just has to wait. Perhaps his greatest proclamation is this: “I will sing to the Lord.” After the anguish of the silence, David seems to shrug his shoulders and say he will worship anyway, knowing that God has a plan and purpose for it all.

Paul speaks similarly in Romans 8:28 when he writes, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” We often cling to this verse in the midst of trial as a way to assure us that everything will work out. But does the “good” really mean that everything will come out positively for us? Continuing on, Paul adds, “For those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in order that He might be the firstborn among many brothers.” Our “good” is really our sanctification, to be made more like Jesus. And while that process may feel less than comfortable most days, it’s part of God’s plan for us.

So could the silence and the waiting be part of God’s design for us, too? Could it be part of God’s big, encompassing plan of sanctification and salvation for the world? Jerry Sittser, in his book When God Doesn’t Answer Your Prayer, puts unanswered prayer in the light of God’s plan of history, saying, “Unanswered prayer according to our perspective does not mean unanswered prayer according to God’s. Likewise, unanswered prayer in the present moment does not mean unanswered prayer next month or next year or perhaps in the next century.” The circumstances that God has ordained are beyond our control, but we can still worship Him in it, and for it.

An unanswered prayer for a career move means we don’t get what we want in the present, but may mean God’s bigger plan for responsibility is coming - just wait. An unanswered prayer for a spouse means we don’t get what we want in the present, but may mean God’s doing a work in that future spouse now - just wait. An unanswered prayer for a friend’s healing means we don’t get what we want in the present, but may mean God’s going to use our grief to minister to another years down the road - just wait. Sometimes in the waiting it means saying to Him, “I don’t get this, but I’ll hold on by fingertips until You make it clear – someday.” And that is worship.

When we stare at our phones waiting for the return call and begin to get flustered, it’s all about us getting what we want. When we set it aside and trust that God’s working out a bigger plan in all of it, and worship Him in the midst, then we are acting for His glory, not our own circumstances.

The Child in Time - Book Review

2011-09-17T11:52:00.000-04:00

I recently finished the novel The Child in Time, by Ian McEwan, the second book by him that I've read (the first being his novella On Chesil Beach). I like McEwan's style. He dwells within the confines of the mind more than he pushes ahead storyline, and attempts to unpack human psychology and desire. He renders characters that are not the champions of doing the right thing as some readers (me) would want them to be, but who are, in fact, painfully human in the words they are afraid to speak, the responsibilities they are afraid to take, and the lives they shy away from.

The story is told from the point of view of Stephen Lewis whose daughter Kate had been taken in a grocery store on a winter's day two years previous. The story follows him on his journey after that, tracing the grief he and his wife fail to share, the painful distance it creates, and his own processing of the event. The blurb on the back of the novel stated that was the full encompassing of the book, but there is more. Life goes on for Stephen, a children's book author, and we read of his involvement in a children's affairs committee in the government, commissioned to revamp childhood education; we read of his relationship with his former publisher who goes from political high to childlike existence; we read of the scandal of the children's education curriculum having been written behind the back of the committee, setting out rather strict, yet acceptable rules for raising children; we read about the political backdrop of London and the world, with its water restrictions, Olympic scandal, and social services concerns; we read of Stephen's parents and their early and later years. Stephen's loss, while ever-present in the life he continues to lead, is just part of the collage of childhood-related experiences and exposures McEwan constructs: loss of a child, loss of childhood, loss of innocence, etc.

Ian McEwan is most known for his novel Atonement, which I believe was made into a movie five or so years ago (yes, with Mr. Tumnus, er, James McAvoy). That's my next McEwan to read. Leave a comment if you've read that, or any other Ian McEwan novels.

When God Pivots Your Direction

2011-09-14T17:41:00.000-04:00

I would not suggest to anyone to take two months and spend a summer without anything to do (like I just did). That is, unless you have an understanding that it is going to be a time used by God to pivot some things in your life. As in, "Ok, I'm not really doing much or involved in a lot of activities or projects right now. If there are things You need to change up, God, go ahead!"

I wonder if anyone else has come to a place in their life where they realize they've gotten to the end of a season. There's no big billboard that announces that (though it would be helpful!), but often there's a sense of something closing, or a sense of restlessness with the way things have previously gone. When you come to that place, and you will, I suggest these things:

- Say yes. Recognize that there's something being stirred up in you. A restlessness, some new inspiration, or even an obvious finish like the ending of a job or project might signal that there's something different to come. It's a way God is getting your attention.

- Pray and seek the Lord. Consult with Him first. This, after all, is coming from Him. He's already planned our steps, and He fills our sails. If your course is changing it is because of Him.

- Look at the signs. Take yourself out of the equation and look back at the past year or season of your life. But look at it as it is, not as how you would like it to be. Is there a job you've been at that is giving you unrest? Look at the reality of that job in what actually happened, not as how you see it leading to your dream career. Is there a relationship that has just not felt right? Look at the reality of that relationship, not as how you're idealizing it into something it is not. This can be hard; you may find you'd rather keep looking through your own filter than at the reality of the situation. But you will probably find a recognition of what needs to change.

- Consult your closest relationships. A spouse. Parents. A close friend. Elders at your church. Those who know you best and whom God has placed in relationship with you are those who will be able to help you discern the right path, and to make the wise choices. They'll also be able to check you if there are improper motives directing your steps, and not the leading of the Lord.

- Take the steps. It takes a great deal of humility to admit that something needs to be changed. Much emotion will also be involved when steps are made: fear in facing the unknown, guilt for leaving projects behind or thinking you're letting people down, the stress of effectively communicating what is going on in your life. But taking steps towards something new can be exciting and exhilarating, and may give you a sense of peace you hadn't had before, or lost and need to regain. God created us with a specific blueprint for our lives; sometimes you're taking steps to recover that blueprint. Think and ponder and make plans. And then act.

- Grieve your change in direction...but not too long. You may feel let down that the thing you thought you were supposed to embark on has somehow not worked. That's not it. It did work - for the season you were supposed to be in it. The real tragedy would be to dismiss a year or five years or ten years of lessons and growth and spiritual maturity and relational wisdom as wasted time. There is no wasted time. Every situation prepares you for the next situation; every relationship prepares you for the next relationship.

- Walk, and trust. You may see clearly the changes that need to be made and why. You may not. You may be taking a step at a time, knowing that each step is building on one another, with no sense of where it's going. It's Ok. Just keep moving. If God is the author and finisher of our faith, and guides our steps, then we could never step off onto the wrong path. Keep walking. And trust Him. He's guiding you somewhere.

Why It's Not Good to Compromise the Gospel and Tell False Things About God

2011-09-13T18:03:00.000-04:00

"Destruction of the Beast & the False Prophet" 1804Benjamin West (1738-1820)

Some strong words from Jeremiah 23 about why we shouldn't tell people things about God that aren't true in order to make them feel better. God's pretty fierce about protecting those He loves and going after those who try to lead them astray (as any good father would do if someone were after his kids):

Thus says the LORD of hosts: “Do not listen to the words of the prophets who prophesy to you, filling you with vain hopes. They speak visions of their own minds, not from the mouth of the LORD. They say continually to those who despise the word of the LORD, ‘It shall be well with you’; and to everyone who stubbornly follows his own heart, they say, ‘No disaster shall come upon you.’”

“I did not send the prophets,
yet they ran;
I did not speak to them,
yet they prophesied.
But if they had stood in My council,
then they would have proclaimed My words to my people,
and they would have turned them from their evil way,
and from the evil of their deeds."

"In the prophets of Samaria
I saw an unsavory thing:
they prophesied by Baal
and led My people Israel astray.
But in the prophets of Jerusalem
I have seen a horrible thing:
they commit adultery and walk in lies;
they strengthen the hands of evildoers,
so that no one turns from his evil;
all of them have become like Sodom to me,
and its inhabitants like Gomorrah.”
Therefore thus says the LORD of hosts concerning the prophets:
“Behold, I will feed them with bitter food
and give them poisoned water to drink,
for from the prophets of Jerusalem
ungodliness has gone out into all the land.”

9/11: Ten Years Later

2011-09-11T08:25:00.002-04:00

Where were you on September 11th?

It’s a question we’ve often asked one another; it usually surfaces in conversation on the anniversary of the event, ushering in sobering tones and deep remembrance. I’m sure you remember how the dynamic of your life changed. I’m sure you remember the conversations you had with friends and strangers alike, a community collectively grieved. We can look back at that day and the subsequent days and see them sharply focused in our memories, more so than other times and seasons.

So where were you?

Did you see the second plane?

Did you hear the news from a friend or co-worker, uncertain of the news themselves?

Were you in your car when the DJ broke into your favorite song with panic in his voice?

Were you asleep and woke up to a world changed?

Where were you? Were you in a state of shock? A state of powerlessness? Were you in a position of sudden vulnerability? Were you in a place of panic? Were you in a corner, feeling like something violent had penetrated your world?

Where were you...?

I might not know where you were that morning, but I know where God was that morning. He was exactly where He was since time began, and where He will be until the finale of all things: on His throne. Sovereign. All-knowing. Unsurprised by September 11.

Where was God during the worst tragedy in the world’s history, the Flood? “The LORD sits enthroned over the flood; the LORD sits enthroned as king forever” (Ps. 29:10).

Where was God at the beginning of time? “Planning the end from the beginning, and from ancient times things not yet done” (Is. 46:9-10).

Where is God in His intimate knowledge of the moments of your life? “‘Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered’” (Matt. 10:29-30).

Where is God when it seems like justice after tragedy will not be served? “...on the throne of David and over His kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore” (Is. 9:7).

Where is God when, ten years later, terrorism still rages, peace is elusive, and our emotional and political landscape still bear the scars from that day? He is speaking to us the same words He spoke to those despairing in captivity in Babylon: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will hear you. You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart’” (Jer. 29:11-13).

Many things have changed in these past ten years, but only One will remain the same for eternity.

My Hope

2011-09-07T16:48:00.009-04:00

Matt Redman's version of "My Hope" came into my life at a time when I needed it, and it has become a strong support when I've needed its strength. Redman's haunting orchestration of minor and major keys captured me, but it is the simple phrases affirming Jesus' steady foundation that I recite when I think of this song. At a time when I began reading some powerhouse thoughts on God's sovereignty, humility, and suffering with hope (from the likes of Andrew Murray, Samuel Rutherford, and others), this song became my theme song for resting in God's peace amidst the storms of life. You can listen to it by clicking HERE (and I suggest you do!).

My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus' blood and righteousness

I dare not trust the sweetest frame

But wholly lean on Jesus' name

When the mountains are falling

When the waters are rising

I shall be safe in You

Though the nations are quaking

Every kingdom be shaken

Still I will rest in You

When darkness seems to hide Your face

I rest on Your unchanging graces

In every high and stormy gale

My anchor holds within the veil

While Redman added the chorus, the song was written by Edward Mote in 1834 (entitled "My Hope Is Built"), and includes two more verses:

His oath, His covenant, His blood

Supports me in the whelming flood

When all around my soul gives way

He then is all my hope and stay

When He shall come with trumpet sound

O may I then in Him be found

Dressed in His righteousness alone

Faultless to stand before the throne!

With this chorus:

On Christ the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand

When the Floods Came Near

2011-08-30T14:54:00.001-04:00

I became aware of Irene as she formed out in the Atlantic, gaining strength as she moved eastward towards landfall. At that time she was projected to sweep over Florida like a sock, from the tip to the ankle of the peninsula. With friends living on the Florida coast I made it a point to watch the weather, to become aware of the threat to my loved ones. They, in turn, had a plan for waiting it out or evacuation should the threat of weather turn reality.

But Irene didn't come for Florida; she turned north, and headed for me.

The Weather Channel meteorologists became like prophets issuing warnings against the coming calamity. Standing in the great cities, in the path of the oncoming storm, the ones who knew what was to come called for evacuation, for precautionary actions, for common sense, and for seriousness. They issued the warnings because they knew what was to come for us; but who had an ear to hear?

Two mindsets seemed to emerge in the lead-up to the hurricane hitting Upstate New York: the Aware, and the Arrogant. The Aware had an eye on the television and the internet; they surveyed what potential damage would be done in their area; they monitored the path of the hurricane and planned ahead for the time of impact; they stocked up on provisions whether they would be needed or not; they took seriously the potential threat to life and property. The Arrogant didn't seem to think they needed to worry about the threat of a hurricane in Upstate New York; they said things like, "We won't get hit," or, "We're in the valley, we won't get anything," or even mocked the potential of the storm; eschewing water or canned goods, they stocked up on beer at the store; they didn't watch the news, or when they did only heard what they wanted; they insisted that the storm would not interfere with their plans. Worse yet, the Arrogant mocked the Aware for their plans and preparation, insisting on the foolishness of taking such a storm so seriously.

The prophets were right. The storm passed almost right overhead. It dropped over five inches of rain in Albany (that's the equivalent of dropping over four feet of snow). The Mohawk River flooded. The Hudson River flooded. Schoharie County is decimated. Downtown Troy, Schenectady, and Waterford are under water. Bridges are closed or even washed away. Whole towns are destroyed. Dams broke. People were evacuated. Homes were washed away. People died.

And still many are calling all the coverage "hype." There is now backlash against the media for being too dramatic, making the storm out to be more than it was so that everyone would be more safe than sorry.

I guess a prophet really is without honor in his own country. (Did we wish for more death, more destruction, in order to validate our own expectation for excess?)

Another prophesied of the signs of the times, and it was His words that have resounded with me these past few days. I never thought I would witness such a clear example of what He spoke of, but Jesus said these words about His return:

"For as were the days of Noah, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day when Noah entered the ark, and they were unaware until the flood came and swept them all away, so will be the coming of the Son of Man" (Matthew 24:37-39).

I've been thinking of Noah. Noah was instructed to build an ark on dry ground. He was instructed by the Lord to prepare for a catastrophe that hadn't come yet, whose evidence of coming chaos could not be detected or seen. Certainly he was mocked. Certainly those around him eating and drinking and having a good time tried to dissuade him from his work, to come eat and drink and have a good time with them. Noah was undeterred. He continued his work, aware and awake to the threat at hand. (One could say he went to Home Depot and bought his plywood and nails before the lines, watched the Weather Channel, stocked up on drinkable water and canned goods, and stayed tuned in to the track of the storm.) When the rain began and the floods started inundating the land and washing houses, crops, and lives away, it was too late. I've heard pastors expound upon the image of those left behind pounding on the door to the ark, the drowning masses letting out cries for help until their voices faded away.

Noah was certain of what he had been warned of, and even though his children were probably not warned directly by God, they trusted the leadership of their father and his wary words, and came alongside him to prepare for the storm. I'm certain the Lord would have let anyone willing to come alongside in seriousness and urgency to enter the ark with Noah's family. But no one else did.

Jesus says His return will be like those days. There will be a small number of those who are aware of the coming chaos, like the sons of Issachar, "men who had understanding of the times" (1 Chronicles 12:32). They will be the ones who, while the skies are still blue and the sun shinning, will be planning evacuation routes; they will be the ones placing their trust in the Lord's guidance and walking by faith whether they understand or not. They will be the ones who see the storm coming, not the ones asleep who are roused by a knock on their door by the fire department telling them to get out. They will be the ones committing their lives to prayer and holiness, waiting and watching eagerly for the return of King - not the ones left outside of the gates at the final judgement.

Just as it is with Hurricane Irene or the coming Messiah, we are told to “...stay awake—for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or in the morning—lest he come suddenly and find you asleep. And what I say to you I say to all: Stay awake" (Mark 13:35-37).

In the end there will be no excuse. It's not so much now to answer why you weren't ready for the hurricane; it will make all the eternal difference at the end when you are asked, "Why weren't you ready for the end of all things?"

Hurricane Songs

2011-08-25T21:09:00.001-04:00

An unusual number of songs on Christian radio today employ hurricane imagery, if you haven't noticed. With Hurricane Irene plowing up the coast, it seems like a good time to take a look at these songs, and see what they say about the magnitude, power, and sovereignty of our Lord.

Me in Motion, "Eye of the Hurricane"

The song: This song begins "Feels like the hurricane has come," and depicts a situation of darkness, sorrow, and the potential of physical and spiritual loss. It's a song sung in the midst of grief, like a psalm of David's, crying "These skies seem empty of Your mercy tonight." But the chorus declares the greater hope:

"When I'm over my head, yeah,
I'm waiting for a miracle,
I'm fighting the wind and the waves,
Then the weight of this storm drives me straight to Your arms,
You hold me, I know I am safe in the eye of the hurricane."

The image: The trials and pains of this life will affect us like the massive winds, destruction, and storm surges of a hurricane; so big and powerful, it's a threat we cannot escape. But the nearness of the Lord is like the eye of the hurricane, the place of calm and daylight in the center of the swirling chaos where, actually, there is safety.

Samestate, "Hurricane"

The song: This song's main message is that we did absolutely nothing to merit the free, saving grace that Jesus Christ extended to us - which is absolutely true. The chorus rings out:

"All at once heads are spinning faster like a hurricane,
'Cause all we did was nothing but a love still came,
And it's bringing in Good News,
His love is comin' back,
For all of us who have a hard time getting it through our brains,
That all we did was nothing but the love still came,
And it's bringing in Good News,
Love is comin' back like a hurricane."

The image: Ironically, there are two uses of the hurricane image in this song, and they do not align with one another! The first seems somewhat of an idiom, depicting a kind of double-take or wake-up call like the way a hurricane can shake someone up. The second image is a richer, more Biblical description of the return of Jesus, on a cloud, with thunder and lightning and disturbances in the physical nature of the earth. Jesus's love for those whom He extended His grace to will return with the magnitude and potential devouring power of a hurricane.

John Mark McMillan, "How He Loves"

The song: This song has become somewhat of a bittersweetly beautiful run-away hit. John Mark McMillan wrote it in the aftermath of the sudden death of a good friend of his, and now worship teams all over the country play it on Sunday mornings, and many bands, including the Dave Crowder Band, have covered it. The song is simple: "God loves us, with great intensity." The most enduring image of the song is in the opening line:

"He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath
The weight of His wind and mercy."

The image: Think of the Weather Channel footage you've seen of those palm trees in the Bahamas. They are at the utter will of the wind. Yet the image in this song seems less violent, at least to me; God's love is not a terrible chaotic thing, but strong and pressing. In thinking about a hurricane hundreds of miles in diameter against one small tree, it seems like the force could be too much. But the song never says that God is breaking us under His wrath. It says that we are bending - bowing - under His mercy. He won't break us. At the same time His weight of love is heavy upon us like gale force winds.

Much grace and safety to you all in the path of the storms of this world.

You Can't Worship Jesus and Idols

2011-08-18T07:34:00.001-04:00

Just in the past few days, whenever I've felt tempted, I've thought, "But I worship Jesus."

As a Christian I do worship Jesus. The whole intention of Christianity is to worship Jesus. But I also worship a lot of other stuff, too. They're called idols, and they can be small and innocuous, or looming and sneaky. They're all dangerous to have in my life, because they establish alternate worship. They need to be done away with.

I came across this passage in Isaiah 46 the other day:

Bel bows down; Nebo stoops;
their idols are on beasts and livestock;
these things you carry are borne
as burdens on weary beasts.
They stoop; they bow down together;
they cannot save the burden,
but themselves go into captivity.

“Listen to Me, O house of Jacob,
all the remnant of the house of Israel,
who have been borne by Me from before your birth,
carried from the womb;
even to your old age I am He,
and to gray hairs I will carry you.
I have made, and I will bear;
I will carry and will save."

Amazing. God is saying, "See those idols that you made and that have to be carried around? How about looking towards Me, who made you and carry you around?" Not only do the little man-made idols bow and fall to the Lord, they are nothing and must be regarded as nothing.

So when tempted with more internet time, or with donuts, or with selfishness, or with the approval of another person, I have to say, "But I worship Jesus. Of course I don't worship ______, silly! I worship Jesus!" Anything else would just be odd coming from the mouth of a Christian. "I worship Jesus and donuts," or, "I don't worship Jesus as much as I worship comments on my Facebook status," or, "I worship Jesus, but will put Him on hold when my friend calls." Seriously.

For more thoughts on this topic, please read "We Will Worship" by my friend Lizzie.

The Insatiability of Sin

2011-08-16T08:04:00.000-04:00

You can't just get sin out of your system.

If you think, "Oh, I'll just eat the whole box of donuts, get it out of my system," in a few days you're going to want to eat another box of donuts.

I read an article where a counselor talked about the anger issues his patient was having. He said, "Whenever you feel angry, throw a plate into the fireplace. Get it out of your system, and soon you'll be better." The man came back a few weeks later saying, "I'm broke. I keep buying plates because I keep needing to throw them into the fireplace." There was no getting anger - sin - out of his system.

Because the flesh is an insatiable entity, by gorging on donuts or allowing anger to flare, we're building the walls of fleshly desire that will surround us and destroy us. We are warned as such: "Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul" (1 Peter 2:11) and "...make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires" (Romans 13:14).

The mortification of the flesh seems to go way beyond thinking, "Oh, I'll just have one." It means you don't even buy the box of donuts in the first place. You don't even drive by the place. You make no provision for the flesh. You starve it all out. Only then can the things of the Spirit be focused on. Only then can we know God more, because our sinful desires will, hopefully, lessen, and we will begin to see clearly. And then we will see the danger of "just getting it out of your system" can do.

Who Will Be Glorified?

2011-08-12T08:59:00.000-04:00

Westminster Catechism Question 1: What is the chief end of man?

Answer: Man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

As I've brushed up against Reformed theology in the past few years I've been exposed to this basic tenet of belief. It's a good answer, filled with Biblical truth and personal challenge, and I commend the creative spirit who employed the word "enjoy" in order to really drive home such Biblical verses as "delight in the Lord." John Piper in his book Desiring God explores this concept deeply, and sets forth the definitive way to live in light of delighting in God, glorifying Him specifically by delighting in Him.

But I think that there's something that comes before Question 1, like a pre-test embarking on the life Question 1 presents: Why should we glorify God?

The quick answer is this: Because He is worthy of glory. But is that quick answer borne out of belief or out of knowledge? And it leads to another question: Do I believe that He is worthy of glory?

Every Christian - every person - must answer this question, and it places us firmly on one side of the line or the other in this story of history. If we find God worthy of glory, then we are understanding something about His character, something that is transcendent and bigger than our finite world, and confirming that there is an awe and reverence that must be given to God. That understanding could come just from reading the Bible, or witnessing God's hand in creation, or being thankful for His salvation, or even just as a choice. Then we glorify Him by sacrificing our lives to follow Him, to practice what He instructs, to adjust our lives to reflect His character, and to talk Him up, so to speak, to others. (Those whom we deem worthy of our sacrifice we tend to talk a lot about!)

But if we don't find Him worthy of glory, then our attitude will communicate that we don't believe Him to be who He says He is. We will not consider Him extraordinary, omnipotent, and sovereign - something not so special. We will give our time, energy, and sacrifices to things we consider more worthy, such as our own personal pursuits, or man's ability to overcome and achieve all things simply by his own will.

Whether we find God worthy or unworthy of glory is the chief motivator of our life, and will direct our time, efforts, sacrifice, and thinking. So, is He worthy, or is He not worthy?

Which brings about one more question: Who are WE to decide whether the God of the universe is worthy or not? Our little opinions don't matter in light of transcendent beauty and eternity, do they? Does God need to be validated by us? God was not created by us that we decide whether He deserves glory or not!

Even so, I do believe that the Christian must face the decision of whether God is worthy to be glorified, settling the issue in surrender and humility, or always be battling for control of who is going to be glorified: me or Him?

Spiritual Disciplines: Thoreau, Edwards, and the Chief End of Man

2011-08-08T16:32:00.000-04:00

"Resolved: that all men should live for the glory of God.
Resolved second: that whether others do or not, I will."
Jonathan Edwards

What does it mean to live deliberately?

I first came across this proposition in Henry David Thoreau's Walden, where he writes, "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." We spent a long time in high school English class on what those words meant, and what the philosophy and intention behind it was. Wrapped up in Thoreau's statement is an intentionality of action; his experiment in stripped-down living at Walden Pond was his chance at living that intentionality of action. We spent time parsing the philosophy, but also looking at the etymology: the word "deliberately" contains the word "liberate."

What of Thoreau's deliberate living lead to his liberation, his freedom? I think he would say it lead him towards a casting off of the worldly systems and social constraints towards a purer existence. He made his own living, made his own furniture, and lived simply and richly. He broke out of the mold.

I think there's a necessity of living deliberately towards something. As Christians we live deliberately towards "glorifying God and enjoying Him forever" (which, sadly, was not Thoreau's goal behind his intentionality). There needs to be an ends towards which we are purposing our means. I think of spiritual disciplines like reading our Bibles, praying, fasting, and mortification of the flesh. Are we to practice these disciplines in order to be the best Bible readers, to develop the most eloquent prayers, to become the most intense fasters, to be the best starvers of our flesh? Or are we to practice these disciplines because it will help us to know Him more?

Can we know Him more, and move towards our chief end, if we do not set spiritual disciplines and practices into place? Have any of the saints been able to drift into a deep communion with the Lord? Our direction can be found in 2 Chronicles 7:14: "...if my people who are called by My Name humble themselves, and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land." According to the Lord there is a deliberateness required on our part: to humble ourselves, pray, seek Him, and repent. There is a job that we must do.

Jonathan Edwards, the Puritan preacher of New England's Great Awakening, set about in 1723 to make a list for himself of disciplines and practices he would accomplish in order to keep aligned to his deliberateness. He would read them each week, and attempt to follow them. They were called his resolutions, because at the beginning of each statement he wrote "Resolved." Writing a list of spiritual disciplines is one thing, but writing a list of things to be resolved about seems quite another, for resolve suggests a kind of "no turning back," a kind of deliberate commitment that one has made up their mind to undertake, that will be hard to reverse. Thus are Edwards' resolutions. I would call them Edwards' commitments, his efforts against stagnation of his faith.

Edwards' resolutions were not so that he could brag about his accomplishments, or about gaining a particular religious office or making a certain amount of money. They were in order to get him towards his chief ends: Glorifying God and enjoying Him forever, and to walk rightly according to the tenets of the Christian faith which, through humility, obedience, and sanctification, will lead to a conforming to the image of Jesus which will result in...glorifying God and enjoying Him forever. And living deliberately liberates us into this.

If we don't have these disciplines in place, there is an urgency to begin today! Again, there is no such thing as drifting into deep communion with the Lord.

What spiritual disciplines do you have that draw you closer to the Lord?

Captain America and the Humility Factor

2011-07-31T22:42:00.000-04:00

Much has been made about Captain America's straight-laced, good-guy-with-values personality in this summer's blockbuster movie. There was talk over whether someone quiet with a sense of duty, sacrifice, and good vs. evil would appeal to the crowds like, say, arrogant, self-centered playboy Tony Stark in the Ironman films does (but he's so fun to watch in his depravity!). Yet as one reviewer pointed out, Captain America is someone our culture needs right now. For his sense of value, certainly, but also as an example of godly character being promoted.

Steve Rogers, who will eventually become the superhuman powerhouse Captain America, is a small, scrawny guy with few friends and no girl. Not for lack of heart; he's just a wimpy kid. His desire is to join the army, not to "kill Nazis" like all the others, but because he can't stand to see the bullies winning. His tries at enlistment end in 4Fs, but not a broken spirit. It's his perseverance that Dr. Erskine, head of the top secret Captain America project, takes notice of. He pushes Rogers through into the Army, not because he has the potential to be the toughest, bravest soldier, but because he has the moral foundations of a superhero.

The night before Steve Rogers is to go through the procedure that will turn him into Captain America, Dr. Erskine sits and has a drink with him. They talk about the strong guys. They talk about the little guys. One thing the doctor says is that the strong guys have the strength, the ability, the already held perfection for the role - and they know it. But, he says the little guy will remember being a little guy, and when he attains strength and ability, the little guy will remember where he came from.

The little guys expect nothing, and have cultivated their heart and their minds on the things that matter most. Steve Rogers had nothing, and therefore, when he gains the fame of Captain America, it has little affect on him. He doesn't expect they'll let him into the army; he's grateful to be in the army. He doesn't expect they'll give him a promotion; he's grateful to be of assistance. He doesn't perform rescue missions for the notoriety; he does it to help. His name is often in the papers; he makes nothing of it. He doesn't expect women to be interested; he's grateful to have a love interest. As someone who had nothing, when he gains the world, he remembers where he came from, becoming grateful for the gifts he's been given.

In one scene, after leading hundreds of men he rescues back to the camp, the crowd resoundingly cheers, "Let's hear it for Captain America!" Sheepishly, this solo human army grins and barely acknowledges the crowd. He doesn't indulge in the applause, nor, it seems, did he expect it. His attention stays focused on the beautiful Agent Carter before him, but not in an expecting "look what I did" way. He is not prideful; he did, simply, what he had to do.

There is a lesson in this, especially as it relates to our humility and God's promotion. 1 Peter 5:6 states, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you." Do we go looking to become Captain America? Or will we be grateful when, after much waiting and faithfulness, we are asked to become Captain America? Are we cultivating the values of Steve Rogers, forming our solid foundation, so that we will be trusted with all the rest when it is given to us? Do we expect praise from others, or are we grateful for the opportunities we are given? Are we a hero because we've told others to worship us as such? Or are we a hero because, without anything to lose, we are willing to sacrifice it all for a greater cause? Humble beginnings can lead to great ends. Even the Creator of the world was born in a stable, never sought worship, and died poor and homeless - only to be raised to sit at the right hand of God and exalted to the utmost.

Steve Rogers was given Captain America, a heavy burden and great gift to bear, because they knew that when he became larger than life, he would not forget the little guy still inside.

Quitter - Book Review

2011-07-25T12:39:00.000-04:00

“Don’t quit your day job.”

Not quite the words our on-demand culture wants to hear from a book about following your dream. But when they come from Jon Acuff, you hang on to see where the ride will take you. In his new release Quitter: Closing the Gap Between Your Day Job and Your Dream Job, Jon Acuff, who found success with his blog Stuff Christians Like and is now part of the Dave Ramsey team, writes about dreams; dreams that you and I have for our lives and careers, dreams of doing something more than sitting at our day jobs wondering when our time will come. While researching this book, Acuff discovered the prevalence of what he calls the 'I'm, but' Generation. "When I speak to people online or in person, we inevitably end up talking about what they do. Hundreds, if not thousands of times, I find one thread of consistency in the explanations I hear. People say: 'I'm a teacher, but I want to be an artist.' 'I'm an accountant, but I want to be a therapist.' 'I'm a project manager, but I want to start my own company.'" And for a time Acuff was an IT guy at an online car sales company, but wanted to be an author and speaker. Now living that dream full time, Acuff outlines his journey, and provides wisdom for those who want to make something more of their life.

The first thing Acuff advises is to not quit your day job. "I want you to drop the q-bomb on [your job]. I do. Just not yet. And not under the belief that doing so will usher you into a gloriously bossless nirvana. There is a wiser way to get to your dream job, and it begins by keeping you day job." It's a daring approach to start the book with. By page 9 he is already talking about the financial concerns you will inevitably get yourself into if you jump ship and think you can swim: the rent and electric bill will become your new bosses, relationships will become strained immediately, and a health emergency could derail a family. Acuff is risking sounding like an overprotective parent, but his view is right.

He also makes light of two unique advantages where keeping a day job will actually help a dream career: having financial stability will allow you to say 'no' more often to bad opportunities for your dream because you won't be desperate for money, and you will retain the ability to 'stay dangerous' and won't be tempted to temper your dream for mainstream money. Later in the book Acuff demonstrates another benefit of taking it wisely by pointing out the gift of invisibility. By slowly building a dream career, the early stages of development, where mistakes are made the most, won't be viewed by a large audience. "Anonymity allows you to make big, gross mistakes without everyone watching. Anonymity is the best creative lab because you've got nothing to lose. Anything is possible."

Quitter, in addition to Acuff's story of sweating it out for years at his day job while building his dream career on the side, contains advise such as how to use your day job as a training ground for your dream job, why having a 'plan' might not be the best plan, ways to go about discovering (or recovering) what your dream job is, and why a blogger shouldn't measure their worth against their Google Analytic stats (true!). And in true Jon Acuff style, there are bits of wry, wild humor that make the book just fun to read.

If you're looking for direction in your career, want to launch off into your own business and aren't sure where to start, or just need some inspiration to ignite your passion, Quitter will be an enjoyable - and surely valuable - choice. For me, it was the right book at the right time.

God on Mute - Book Review

2011-07-18T16:09:00.001-04:00

One of the most disturbing truths of Christianity is that God doesn't always answer our prayers. God may, indeed, choose to remain deliberately silent in our heaviest time of need. Are there reasons why? Does the Bible have any insight into why this happens? Does human experience have any insight into how to get through these silent times? In his book God on Mute: Engaging the Silence of Unanswered Prayer, Pete Greig addresses the big questions of unanswered prayer, yet also speaks to a daily faith that hangs on through trial and pain.

Pete Greig, the founder of the 24/7 prayer movement, was awakened by his wife one night as she had her first seizure. The hospital stay showed a brain tumor, yet despite a successful operation she was left with epilepsy. The harrowing passages of the book are about her seizures and how Greig, left helpless with nothing to do but pray, sees no result of his plea. But he affirms that that's no reason to stop seeking the Lord.

Structured to mirror the three days of Christ's death, burial, and resurrection, God on Mute approaches unanswered prayer from a Friday/Saturday/Sunday view: on Friday, Jesus cried out from the cross, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?"; on Saturday, with their savior and teacher dead in the tomb, the disciples, fraught with fear and grief, found themselves in God's silence; on Sunday, with His resurrection, God finally brought about the answer and response to the silence.

Greig, while deliberately including hopeful stories of miracles brought about by prayer, is honest about his own doubts and struggles brought on by God's silence. He also offers stories of friends whose faith has been cracked in some way by God’s unmoving hand, whether it be praying for a baby to stop crying or elusive healing in sickness. He is transparent about his own wife’s suffering in illness as well, and offers an extensive, but by no means exhaustive, list of why things may not be budging. He discusses motive (“Are my prayers essentially just selfish?”), doctrine, (“Does my prayer reflect God’s character and His promises in the Bible?”), common sense (“Am I asking God to do something stupid, meaningless, or illogical?”), and Satanic opposition (“Is my prayer in line with God’ will but experiencing specific demonic resistance?”), among other things. But when silence still pervades, faith must step in; “It’s not that He’s saying ‘yes,’ ‘no,’ or ‘not yet’ to our prayers; it’s that He’s not saying anything at all. We pray and pray but God remains silent. We ask for help and He appears to ignore us. We try to make sense of our situation and there is no explanation, no revelation, no intimation that God even cares. We may wonder if He’s there at all.” In the end we press on because He is God.

If you have ever struggled with God's silence, or questioned His goodness because He has said 'no,' or, 'not now,' and if you have had great moments of cracked faith, Grieg has had the same, and his book may give you the much needed relief of association to say, "You've been there, too? You know what it's like, then."

To purchase a copy, click here.

Grammar Moment: The Oxford Comma

2011-07-15T06:55:00.000-04:00

More and more I am seeing writers and publishers ignore proper comma rules that make for excellent communication. Specifically, I am seeing a decline of the Oxford, or serial, comma, the comma that comes immediately before the "and" in a list of three or more items. Increasingly that comma is being left out and - horrifically! - that is being condoned as an option for proper usage by major style manuals!

This is terrible.

Why?

Because things can get confusing really quickly.

The prime example I like to use is this: A young man writes a book, and on the first page he thanks his influences: "I'd like to thank my parents, Mother Teresa and Ghandi."

Without that comma, Mother Teresa and Ghandi are his parents.

Clear communication would warrant him writing, "I'd like to thank my parents, Mother Teresa, and Ghandi."

Not only does this make for better communication, it's a list of items! Weren't we all taught that lists of items are separated by commas?

Here's an example from a book I'm reading: "...the incomparable story of Christ's agony, abandonment and eventual resurrection..." Grammatically, this is not a list. Grammatically, "abandonment and eventually resurrection" are considered qualifiers or descriptives of "agony." What could have been a clear sentence becomes clumsy.

Another example: "Maybe by adjusting our expectations we can reduce the sense of disappointment, isolation and unfairness riding on the back of unanswered prayer." Instead of a list, "Disappointment, isolation, and unfairness" are grammatically separated in this sentence because there is no Oxford comma: "disappointment" is the sense that needs to be reduced; "isolation and unfairness" ride on the back of unanswered prayer. The sentence's meaning has changed, all because the Oxford comma was not used.

Just use the Oxford comma, people! Things would make so much more sense!

Excuses for Our Sin

2011-07-12T08:05:00.000-04:00

"People do not drift toward Holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; we drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; we drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated."

-D.A. Carson

Ecclesiastes, the Lost Generation, and the Search for Meaning

2011-07-06T06:53:00.000-04:00

“Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.”

I wonder if those who have read The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway grow weary of the repetition, of the long scenes of drinking and conversation, of event after event without substance behind it. Then again, the story of Jake Barnes and his ex-patriot comrades who converge in Paris, travel to Pamploa and disperse is rather engaging and fun to follow. Their adventures are lively, full of travel and interesting people, sights and sounds and tastes and smells, lives full of experience. But is their experience for a greater purpose? Or is it pleasure for the sake of pleasure? There is a sad lack of something in the lives of these expatriates, yet it is not a novel about depravity or loss. It is simply a novel about experience; the rest is left up to the reader.

Many novels that concern the emptiness of existence are self-aware of their intention to concern the emptiness of existence. Excess is portrayed as being just that - excess, vanity - and one of the characters will often point out the futility of the path everyone walks. (“Mistah Kurtz, he dead,” or, “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past,” or, "The rest is silence.") That’s not so with The Sun Also Rises. Even though Brett comes closest to expressing an awareness of the emptiness of the lives they lead at the very end, there is no room for introspection, for a bird’s-eye view of what they’re doing, where they’re going, and why. The characters seem to be in a drift, with no vision to sow into, no anchor to throw. The only character whose past we get clued into is Robert Cohn. Yet once out of school he drifts from project to project, woman to woman, and finds himself in Paris. Jake Barnes, the narrator, gives us little information on his background, and neither does the reader receive any full information on anyone else’s background. These men and women seem to live in a kind of vacuum. The events of the novel themselves seem like a kind of vacuum as well, a time capsule of a great few weeks that happened, and are over with, and may never be looked back upon ever again. When Jake and Bill travel to Spain, Robert Cohn joins them, as he is not tied down, and Brett and Michael join them, as they are not tied down. There are no roots. The characters are vaporous.

Is there a pursuit of happiness or meaning in the novel? There is none, not at the surface anyway, yet one gets the sense that the characters already believe they are happy, already believe they have meaning in their lives. The tragedy of who they are is never realized or recognized by any of them. It creates an interesting dramatic irony for the reader, found more in an emotional than an intellectual association. While these characters are drinking and fighting and observing and joking and fishing and having what they believe is the time of their lives the reader can’t help but have a subtle awareness of the futility of it all. Despite the joyous atmosphere of the fiesta in Pamplona every character drifts away in gloom: Robert Cohn is rejected, Michael leaves without his love, Brett cannot find the love she seeks, and Jake is alone, returning to Spain attempting to capture something of the friendship and intensity of what he had. Bill, the writer, seems to be the only character who has lost himself so fully in momentary experience that there is no gloom for him at the end as he drifts onto the next thing. Only with the last sentence is a kind of permanent hopelessness realized; despite all the fullness of experience, the hope of a lasting connection to someone or something can never be realized. Life will continue on, and as the verse Hemingway borrowed the title from declares,

"What profit has a man from all his labor
In which he toils under the sun?
One generation passes away, and another generation comes;
But the earth abides forever.
The sun also rises, and the sun goes down,
And hastens to the place where it arose" (Ecc. 1:3-5)

At the end of his life Solomon looked back upon his excess and straying from the truth and wisdom of God and realized that all the material prospects he sought in life were useless. He concluded that the only thing of value was to “Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” Perhaps these characters will recognize their drifting, their vanity, and their wandering before they come to the end of their travels, finding it’s all amounted to nothing.

Hazardous: Offenses

2011-07-01T10:43:00.000-04:00

There is a big stumbling block that has the potential to waylay, even wipe out a Christian if he or she is not careful how the hazard is handled. It is a stumbling block that none of us can avoid, and our emotional and physical health will be determined by how we maturely handle it when it is given to us. It is offense. And there are two major ways that we can be offended: suffering and disappointment. An incorrect approach to suffering can wipe out our relationship with God; an incorrect approach to disappointments can wipe out our relationships with each other.

Suffering
Suffering will be common in the life of the Christian. It may even become very near, and come around frequently. It comes in many different forms: persecution, illness, loss, emotional pain, rejection. Suffering will come, and it will come from God, one way or another. The question is how we will view our suffering? Will we see it as part of the greater plan of sanctification, used for our good as God carves us into the image of His Son using soft and hard tools? Or will we see it as part of a harsh life, as cruel things coming from a distant, arbitrary God?

It would be so easy to slip into the latter, to be tossed and battered by the waves that it's all we can do to cling to the wreckage of the ship, wanting to slip under. What we don't see is that the tossing and the battering of the waves is what will build our swimming muscles if we want to gain the shore. That's how God sees it, I believe. The hard things working together for our good. If we are not careful, though, if we don't keep our hearts and minds fixed upon God, or allow ourselves to remember that there's a transcendent spiritual plan much bigger than our suffering, we could easily be offended at God as not being who we thought He was, or laying too much on us to bear. In our incorrect view of suffering we could reject God altogether. Offense can rip apart our relationship with God if we hold unfulfilled expectations against Him.

Disappointment
Disappointment is not usually something talked about in church circles, yet it has the potential to be an ever-present weight with the power of destruction. Even more so in the church are we prone to disappointment because, as my pastor says, "We are part of a Body. In the world we can just walk away, but in the church we are in relationship with one another. There's no opportunity to walk away."

Disappointment is also something that can't be pinned down neatly in a definition, because there can be many layers to it and its affects. When one person has an expectation of another, and when that expectation isn't met, disappointment occurs. If love and forgiveness are not strongly present, or the practice of Christ-like mercy is not exercised, then disappointment can become a wound, and become a wedge, and eventually can become a huge issue of sin and devastation. It can rip apart our relationships with one another.

Danger Ahead
These are hazards. Serious hazards. How are we to be aware of these hazards? Pray, keep your heart open, and learn to discern when you're slipping into being critical of God and man. If you're not trusting Him in the midst of suffering, just tell Him so. Keep in the Word of God; it explains everything. If you feel yourself becoming disappointed at the actions of another, really seek your heart about the incident. Are you holding expectations that others can't fulfill? Expectations that shouldn't be there at all? Above all, don't let your imagination grab hold of that disappointment, because it will spiral out of control; keep open communication with the one you're having issue with, in order to keep reality checked. Above all, keep hanging on through it. Walk the path in humility with Him.

Piecing Together God

2011-06-25T10:19:00.000-04:00

I'm thinking this morning about our perceptions of God.

First, a quote:

"All visible objects, man, are but as pasteboard masks. But in each event — in the living act, the undoubted deed — there, some unknown but still reasoning thing puts forth the mouldings of its features from behind the unreasoning mask. If man will strike, strike through the mask! How can the prisoner reach outside except by thrusting through the wall? To me, the white whale is that wall, shoved near to me. Sometimes I think there's naught beyond. But 'tis enough."

This is a quote from Captain Ahab, from Moby-Dick, by Melville. The surface story of the novel is a guy chasing a whale; the deeper story present within the text is a guy offended at God and chasing down the manifestation God has placed within his life - the whale - in order to kill it and therefore get God off his back. But this is not a blog post about Moby-Dick.

What Ahab describes is similar to the imagery Plato employs in his allegory of the cave (The Republic). In each case man is staring at the manifestation of a reality he perceives to be finite through perception and sensation, yet there comes to him an awareness of something transcendent beyond that reality, be it behind the mask of the tangible face God presents, or in the puppet-master at the edge of the cave moving Truth before the light that forms shadows upon the wall. There is a sensed, perceived reality, and then there is the awareness of a kind of larger, fuller, transcendent reality that makes what we see seem like masks and puppet shows.

How we know what we know about our world and surroundings comes through that sensory, or empirical, knowledge. For the Christian, knowledge also comes to us through revelation from God, which is knowledge that, like Jesus said to Peter, "Flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven" (Matt. 16:17). Revelation is the only direct knowledge we get of God, because it is from God Himself. All other knowledge we receive about Him comes through secondary means, like observing the world, and observing the things in this world. And this is where we could run into trouble.

How often do we allow what we see in the world, or have experienced from the world, to shape our view of who God is? Like Ahab sees the whale as God's agent on earth, and therefore bases his opinion of God on his experience of what the whale has done to him, how often do we form God in the image of how we have seen His plans and decisions play out in our lives and the lives of others? The agents of God on earth - His saints, His works of nature, His allowance of suffering, His miracles - are all things that have informed our knowledge of God. The good work of missionaries in a foreign land shapes the native peoples' perception of God positively; the heartbreaking suffering of disease in a friend can shape a person's perception of God negatively. Blessing can shape a person's perception of God positively; withheld blessing can shape a person's perception of God negatively. Reading about the seemingly senseless weather atrocities can shape a person's perception of God negatively; reading about miraculous rescues within the devastation can shape a person's perception of God positively.

These are just the ways we're trying to piece God together. And positive or negative, God exists beyond our perceptions of Him. We are just seeing a mask, making our own interpretations from that mask, and building a view of who God is based on those interpretations.

But they have no bearing on who God is.

If I have had negative experiences at the hand of God, my negative perception of who God is not the reality of who God is. My certainties of His character can only be assumptions; whatever I feel I can peg Him as, He isn't. We are just seeing glimpses of His presence, character, and work in the elements of this world. And no one knows His plan. While the Bible confirms that "All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose" (Rom. 8:28), our perceptions of death and disaster really tell us otherwise. But God's plan is outside of, and independent of, our perceived reality of the situation.

Whatever we think, we fall short. Whatever we know, we know in part. Even revelation, direct knowledge of the hand, heart, and plan of God, is just a glimpse of what He's really up to. Yet how much do we make assumptions of God, saying He is a certain way, based on our limited, partial, and subjective experience? We need to seek after the transcendent character of the Almighty, or at least recognize that He really isn't who we think He is.

William Cowper: A Bleak Life for God's Glory

2011-06-23T09:45:00.000-04:00

While at Desiring God doing some research the other day, I came upon one of the series of biographies that John Piper wrote about the lives of Christians entitled The Swans Are Not Silent. In Book Two, called The Hidden Smile of God, Piper compiles the stories of "The Fruit of Affliction in the Lives of John Bunyan, William Cowper, and David Brainerd." I settled upon William Cowper's section, as it was the one I was interested in, and read.

I had heard his name before in relation to late 18th century Christians (such as his friendship with John Newton), but had not read of his life to any extent. Born in 1731, Cowper lead a relatively quiet life in appearance, yet the internal life of his mind and soul seemed in constant torrent, unable to settle like waves in a storm. His biography would challenge anyone who believes that Christ can save us from our afflictions and release us into a joy-filled life; his life could also be solid testimony to the Lord's firm grasp upon His chosen, even though that saint may flail and fail. Cowper was afflicted with severe depression, one that never seemed to release him through his life. He came to know Jesus in 1764 during a prolonged stay at an insane asylum, brought about by years of depression and suicidal tendencies. God was drawing Him, and placed a Christian over his care, and placed a Bible in his path:

Having found a Bible on the bench in the garden, I opened upon the 11th of St. John, where Lazarus is raised from the dead; and saw so much benevolence, mercy, goodness, and sympathy with miserable men, in our Saviour’s conduct, that I almost shed tears upon the revelation; little thinking that it was an exact type of the mercy which Jesus was on the point of extending towards myself. I sighed, and said, “Oh, that I had not rejected so good a Redeemer, that I had not forfeited all his favours.” Thus was my heart softened, though not yet enlightened.

Immediately I received the strength to believe it, and the full beams of the Sun of Righteousness shone upon me. I saw the sufficiency of the atonement He had made, my pardon sealed in His blood, and all the fullness and completeness of His justification. In a moment I believed, and received the gospel. . . . Whatever my friend Madan had said to me, long before, revived in all its clearness, with demonstration of the spirit and with power. Unless the Almighty arm had been under me, I think I should have died with gratitude and joy. My eyes filled with tears, and my voice choked with transport; I could only look up to heaven in silent fear, overwhelmed with love and wonder (Thomas, William Cowper and the Eighteenth Century).

But things did not immediately turn well for him; there was no radical Scrooge-like change in temperament, nor could he attest that Jesus had "wiped away all his fears and sadness" like many testimonies we hear. Cowper, for the remainder of his life, continued to battle with depression, hopelessness, darkness of soul, and suicidal attempts, until his death in 1800. Piper puts it best by asking, "William Cowper’s melancholy is disturbing. We need to come to terms with it in the framework of God’s sovereign power and grace to save and sanctify His people. What are we to make of this man’s lifelong battle with depression, and indeed his apparent surrender to despair and hopelessness in his own life?"

It's a good question. It's interesting to note, too, that many say of him that he was an excellent poet. Samuel Taylor Coleridge said of Cowper that he was "the best modern poet," and Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote a poem about him entitled "Cowper's Grave." His hymns, many of which he wrote with his friend John Newton, have lasted until today. So what can be said about the lowness of Cowper's affliction and the influence of his art? Why did God keep him so afflicted? It seems that Cowper had a sense of what Paul would call "the thorn": the thing provided by God to one of His saints in order to keep him broken and weak, so that he may throw himself upon God as the source of life, and to find His grace sufficient. Out of the crushing of Cowper's affliction came the sweet fragrance of his hymns and poetry. One could certainly ask the question, Why couldn't his misery have been lifted just a bit, in a trade-off for a dozen hymns? We don't know the answer. Cowper himself wrote, "God’s ways are mysterious, and He giveth no account of His matters... There is a mystery in my destruction, and in time it shall be explained."

In acknowledging those mysterious ways, Cowper wrote his most famous hymn, "God Moves in a Mysterious Way":

God moves in a mysterious way

His wonders to perform;

He plants his footsteps in the sea,

And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines

Of never-failing skill,

He treasures up his bright designs

And works his sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take,

The clouds ye so much dread

Are big with mercy, and shall break

In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,

But trust him for his grace;

Behind a frowning providence

He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,

Unfolding every hour;

The bud may have a bitter taste,

But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err,

And scan his work in vain:

God is his own interpreter,

And He will make it plain.

It can be sorrowful for us to read of such a harsh life, yet it forces us to see that God's sovereign hand really is upon us all, keeping us and holding us and spurring us on for good works, whether each day is joyous to us, or whether each day is a daunting trial. That God is still present in affliction is hopeful; that He is not only present, but very much using every affliction for His glory in our life is hopeful, too, but in a deeper, fuller, transcendent kind of way. Can we keep this hope even though we may be consigned to the darkness of depression? Can we see that in the darkness of depression something may be fragrant for His glory? Can we trust Him to know what He's doing in the life of someone like William Cowper? "Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,/But trust him for his grace;/Behind a frowning providence/He hides a smiling face."

Getting Back to God

2011-06-22T11:55:00.000-04:00

The past few months have been busy. Very busy.

They have also held intrinsic spiritual challenges; the time wasn't just busy, it was pressing. The time wasn't just filled with projects, but with sacrifices and a kind of dying to self I had never experienced before. It wasn't just stressful, it was draining. With that it's been difficult to find the Lord.

I don't have much experience at knowing what I need in order to best walk this Christian life. What I know to practice comes from the experience I've gained, and there are places in my life where I can affirm that I will act in such a way, and therefore must either avoid that situation or repent very quickly. But the one area I'm still a bit blindsided with is detachment from the vine.

The saints before me and around me have stated this one thing consistently: When the heart begins to stray, get back into the Word of God. There are all kinds of imagery to employ. Abide in the vine. Drink from the well. Rest under in the shadow. Dwell in the house. It describes a vital closeness necessary for rejuvenation and life, a kind of total dependence upon God to provide and restore. For apart from Him we can do nothing.

But it's very easy to just slip away, isn't it? To find the busyness causing you to miss one night's Bible reading, and then another night, and then you say, "I'll pick it up at the start of next week, at the start of next month, when this season is concluded..." Or there's no time to pray. Or there's little time to study, and when you have to fit study between Project A and Project B it becomes another task. You get angry that Bible study has to become "just another task," so you ditch it altogether. Or scheduling keeps you from activities with the church, and when you do find the time to go, you are so tired you can barely engage. "So I'll just put that off until next week, next month, when I have the time again..." You don't have time to read the books you used to read, or listen to the sermons you used to listen to. And so the distancing begins.

And then an interesting cycle commences. Missing a few readings makes it seem Ok to miss a few more. Becoming inconsistent in fellowship allows you to feel Ok in being inconsistent in fellowship. Not picking up the books you used to read makes it easier not to pick up the books you used to read. The distancing may just happen, may not even be deliberate. But then it almost becomes deliberate.

Away from the Lord's presence, things don't just stagnant, they roll backwards. Missing a few Bible readings leads to a break from the Word, and leads to a subtle, yet dangerous, critique of the Word. What was once a joyful experience becomes a dreaded task, or even a task filled with revulsion. Prayer slips, and communication is cut off, leading not to dead air but to animosity at the relationship in the first place. The saint is lured away from the presence of the Lord not into neutral territory, but into the dark thickets of enemy-filled wilderness. And then the worse may happen; too far away from that glorious light, you pull your own sword thinking you can fight your way back. Until you realize you don't want to.

I don't have enough experience yet to affirm that when this distance happens, I need to re-submerse myself immediately in the things of Christ. Yet I do know that in the times when I have submersed myself in the things of Christ, I have been well, filled, and calm. I think of the John Newton quote that says, "To be humble, and like a little child, afraid of taking a step alone, and so conscious of snares and dangers around us, as to cry to Him continually to hold us up that we may be safe, is the sure, the infallible, the only secret of walking closely with Him."

When we begin to drift, let us make great efforts to paddle back to the certain shores of our God!

Seasons Conclude, Projects Complete

2011-06-20T14:26:00.000-04:00

I've come to the end of a season in my life. The past few weeks have seen the culmination of months of work in a few different major and minor events, and Sunday found me able to finally relax, with no obligations or requirements. It's a good feeling!

On June 1 six months of planning resulted in the Second Annual Capital District Community Commemoration of Yom Yerushalayim - Jerusalem Day at Congregation Beth Emeth in Albany. With over 40 organizations involved and over 1000 people in attendance, it was the largest pro-Israel event Albany has ever seen! I had been part of the planning committee, and for months worked on putting this event together. Though good planning kept most of the last-minute franticness away from us, the month of May was occupied almost completely with this event. It was a lot of work! But the final result was so beyond what any of us had imagined.

On June 17 I had my final day at JERNY (Jewish Educational Resources of NY) where I held the position of the Executive Assistant for Israel Advocacy for the past year. (I was the Christian working in a Jewish organization whose executive director rabbi is my pastor's best friend!) It was a very challenging year, and was a weighty learning experience for me in many different ways. Leaving any job is a big decision, but there's always a nice openness and sense of excitement as to what's next.

On June 18 another six months of planning resulted in a 60th birthday party for my mom. It was a fun event to plan - the Cape Cod theme had my artistic skills very much employed - but being it was my first time overseeing something like that, there were gaps I missed, and things I could have done better. Still, I think my mom was very much blessed by it, and it was fun seeing everyone coming together to honor her.

On June 13 I finally finished an art project/birthday present a friend of mine had given me at the beginning of May. She had given me the art project; I made it into a birthday present! I was attempting to illustrate a moment in Christian history when George Whitefield spoke in Connecticut. It was an enjoyable project to do, and got me drawing again. But how did I fit it in with all the above projects going on? Who knows!

And now I can rest a bit, and transition into new jobs and projects.

So what is next? Writing, and lots of it, I say! I've put up my second blog which will focus on Israel, a project I've wanted to take on for a while. It's called Standing Within Your Gates, and you can head over there for an introduction to the blog and a short explanation of why I named it as I did. There are a number of other writing projects I will take on as well, as I begin to solidify this writing career I've been building over the past ten years. I'd also like to capitalize on my geekiness and expand into proofreading and editing services, writing consultation, and perhaps brand myself as "Albany's Grammar Girl"! The graphic design projects I've done over the past few years have been incredibly enjoyable, and with my new higher powered computer I'll be training myself on some new higher powered graphic design and layout software. Of course, I'll continue to fill this blog with theological observations and essays, and maybe add a book review or two. Be on the look out for a free ebook of my own short stories to be offered here soon as well.

So, exciting things to come! Thank you for your time, Dear Reader!

The Difference Between Writing a Paper and Reading the Bible

2011-05-31T07:08:00.000-04:00

Back in school I was taught how to write a paper the following way: devise an original thesis, do research to find two or three sources that will support your thesis, and attempt to write a convincing paper. The further in school I got, the more my theses developed from knock-offs of the theory I had read to original thoughts that cut the swath of undiscovered paths. It was great fun to me to think out a new angle to reading literature, and to successfully, or semi-successfully state my case. Sometimes finding a credible source who fully supported my thesis was difficult, but only reassured me that I was "out there" enough to be forging new territory. Whomever wrote close enough to what I was saying got themselves in as a footnote. I felt justified: I had my supporting facts that not only satisfied the essay requirement, but showed that I was aligning myself with forward thinking.

But then there's the Bible.

Christianity has often approached the Bible like it's just another proof text to our own thesis. Across every denomination pastors preach their version of salvation and the good life, devising an original thesis and picking through the Bible to see if they can find some verses that support their essay. What they end up with is a convincing paper...that has utterly missed God. And I think we have all done this. When facing a specific morality we don't want to act out, we find a line from the Bible that releases us. Or when we want someone else to act a different way, we find a line from the Bible that backs us up. We treat the Bible like it's a secondary text to our primary source.

What we have trouble with is the idea that there is to be no original thought, no independent theses, no personal re-interpretation of God's word. We must submit to the Scriptures. We must, if we are to ever love God and come under His authority, put aside our own desire to live life our way, no longer picking and choosing which Bible verses we like and leaving the rest to silence. I cannot blaze my own intellectual trail, but must place my feet inside of the footprints of Him who has already laid the way.

Coming Soon: My Israel Blog

2011-05-27T11:59:00.000-04:00

I'm excited to start this new project:

Standing Within Your Gates

Compendium 5.24.11

2011-05-24T21:31:00.003-04:00

My life has become an exchange of information. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing anything with that information, or simply just re-posting, re-Tweeting, re-regurgitating, etc. As a critical thinker and as a writer I believe that everything taken in should be viewed, reasoned, and spliced apart, in order to construct new theory or metaphor.

That being said, here's some information that I'm just passing along!

Did Jesus Stand Us Up? - In the wake of all the strangeness of this past weekend (will the world end at 6:00?), The Resurgence gives us the real Biblical facts of Jesus' return.

Are These the Actual Words of Jesus’ Crucifixion Charge Sheet? - This is very interesting to me. Justin Taylor posted this over at The Gospel Coalition. Take a look:

Sharing the Gospel - I'm so glad my friend Liz is writing. A rich soul full of love for God, she has a lot to say, and here shares a simple narrative about loving others with the news of Christ. She shares her thoughts and meditations on Jesus at to see the King in His beauty.

Using Metaphors to Help Us Explain a Complex World - I read this in syndication a few months ago and thought it was so spot on. An almost meta-evaluation of how we use metaphors, and why, strangely, we use certain categories of metaphors for certain things.

Been geeking out on graphic design websites lately, and came across this fun site that offers some pretty graphically forward design and printing concepts: Moo. (Love the name.) Frequenting Smashing Magazine, too. And loving Chris Spooner's accent!

Not Peter, But Jesus

2011-05-01T21:05:00.001-04:00

“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” Peter said to him, “Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death.” Jesus said, “I tell you, Peter, the rooster will not crow this day, until you deny three times that you know me.”

Luke 22:31-34

Even those who do not follow Christ probably know the story of Peter's betrayal. As Jesus is being lead away, chained and guarded, to be tried in a middle-of-the-night court, Peter, lingering in the yard outside, is asked by three different people if he associates with the man from Nazareth. All three times Peter denied his relation. When the rooster cried, "the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how He had said to him, 'Before the rooster crows today, you will deny Me three times.' And he went out and wept bitterly." Later we learn that Peter became a special focus of Jesus' post-resurrection attention ("Tell the disciples and Peter"), and on the shores of the Galilee Jesus commissioned him again to ministry. We are familiar with this, and often relate to Peter's humanity under pressure

Many of us are familiar with the "Satan sifting Peter like wheat" phrase as well, usually using it as a text in the discussion of Satan's role, or for support of Jesus as intercessor. Rarely, though, is this concept ever linked to Peter's temptation. It seems the focus of this passage often rests upon Peter's brashness to proclaim that he would do anything for Christ, and Christ's sober prophecy of what will happen. Too often this passage is segmented: the challenge of the believer being handed over to Satan/Peter's forthcoming denial.

Is that how we should be reading this text? If we are to understand it holistically, we see something else emerge: Jesus's omnipotence and sovereignty. When read as one comprehensive moment Jesus becomes bigger.

Jesus is essentially saying, "I know what happens. I know the end from the beginning. I know your story, and I know what's going to happen to you, and I know you're going to be tried, but I know you're going to pull through it." Echoing Satan's challenge to the Lord to try Job's faith, Jesus is once again standing before the adversary saying yes, allowing the temptation to come to Peter knowing that his disciple will endure the ordeal by the grace of God, and come out stronger through the brokenness he will receive.

The focus of this passage should not be Peter, but Jesus. Jesus is the one to whom Satan went to ask to tempt Peter, and Jesus is the one who founded Peter's faith in the beginning, calling him from his life to follow and love and believe. Jesus prayed for Peter, that his faith may not fail during the trial, showing that it was Jesus's prayer to the Father, not Peter's, that pulled him through (we don't see Peter praying for increased faith and endurance in the midst of the denials, do we?). Finally, Jesus knew that Peter would repent - he will turn again - and would strengthen his brethren in Christ, as we read in Peter's letter to the church. Jesus knows the end from the beginning.

Jesus also chose to tell Peter what was to happen. Did Peter remember the promise when he recalled the words of denial, too? Did Peter remember not that Jesus said he would deny Him, but that He had also said that Peter would endure, and come through it, and repent, and be clean and strengthened? It seems he did not. He didn't remember. He forgot. Like the Israelites captive in Babylon, they had forgotten the promise their God had made to them, until the prophet Jeremiah reminded them: "'I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord, 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.'" He has revealed to us the end from the beginning so that we may have hope, and be able to look forward in order to endure. Likewise, He also promised the church of Smyrna in the Book of Revelation, "Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life."

Perhaps Peter did remember that Jesus said he would endure, and it later encouraged him. Certainly it did, as his repentance was full. But he would not have made it if it wasn't for Jesus and His almighty grip on Peter. When things seemed dark and bitter to Peter, Jesus knew that faith would not fail, light would not be extinguished, and that what the saint could not see was plain to the Savior all along.

The Unknown Paths of Righteousness

2011-04-26T22:55:00.000-04:00

Lord, I don't know where all this is going
Or how it all works out
Lead me to peace that is past understanding
A peace beyond all doubt

- Newsboys

There is no moment that is certain beyond this moment. All things that have come before are clear to us, memories relived in color and accuracy, sounds and motions and words. But the words and motions and sounds of tomorrow are unknown to us.

Like a fog through which we can't see.

Or a sharp drop-off at whose edge we stand. The precipice of the present moment.

It can be exhilarating, or truly fearful.

Trusting the Lord with the future is a difficult thing for a Christian. It seems we are hardwired to plan ahead, to plot out our course for our lives: schooling, career, location, family, legacy. The details may not yet be specific, but each one of us has a road we have loosely constructed, a road that we look down and step foot on, shoring up the ground and solidifying pavement and sidewalks as we go. We move forward, building something of our lives.

But then the Lord comes and takes away the road. Or gets so into our vision that we cannot even see what lies ahead anymore. What of the day when He moves us onto a different path, away from the future construction we were looking forward to building? There is grief when we have to abandon a future we thought was in place, when we let go of - or have it wrenched from our hands - the expectation of how we thought things were going to work out.

Very often when the Lord realigns us to the path of His plan for us, we're left gazing at the old, now abandon road, saying, "I thought it was going to be different. I wanted it to be different..."

The only solace, really, can be found in Jeremiah 29:11: "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.'" The promise there does not lie in what is positively in store for us, but in this simple, jarring fact: The Lord knows the plans He has for us. We don't know the plans He has for us. And our plans are not necessarily the plans He has for us. I'm almost certain they're not. But there is great relief and peace in that statement, an opportunity on our part to sigh, if we can, and delight in knowing that God knows. He knows.

But do we? Can we?

I've often heard it said that we'd be foolish to prefer our own path, our own choices, our own life, to the one He's chosen, written, and will govern for us. But in the mystery of His ways the plans He has for us seem like that precipice, that fog, that scary unknown, completely cloudy and uncertain. It's there He beckons us to walk. In comparison to it our roads - extending far into the distance, still blurry and needing construction and weight, but visible - seem a much better choice than a divine blueprint that we don't get to see.

I guess a greater question is, Whose road will be better, in the long run?

And the other question: Is it better to build a house on sand, if only to gain that dream for a little while, than to take up the cross daily and follow Him, with no place to rest our head?

It seems that only time, experience, cultivation of wisdom, and the ever-deepening passion and love for the One whom our soul adores will bring us to say, "Yes, yes, let me leave my path for You, yes," more clearly, more forcefully, quicker, willingly, wholeheartedly, sacrificially. It will get easier to turn our eyes away from what we wanted to come true. Perhaps someday.

Saturday: Between Death and Resurrection, Waiting...

2011-04-23T18:16:00.000-04:00

Psalm 22

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?

O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer,

and by night, but I find no rest.

Yet you are holy,

enthroned on the praises of Israel.

In you our fathers trusted;

they trusted, and you delivered them.

To you they cried and were rescued;

in you they trusted and were not put to shame.

But I am a worm and not a man,

scorned by mankind and despised by the people.

All who see me mock me;

they make mouths at me; they wag their heads;

“He trusts in the LORD; let him deliver him;

let him rescue him, for he delights in him!”

Yet you are he who took me from the womb;

you made me trust you at my mother's breasts.

On you was I cast from my birth,

and from my mother's womb you have been my God.

Be not far from me,

for trouble is near,

and there is none to help.

Many bulls encompass me;

strong bulls of Bashan surround me;

they open wide their mouths at me,

like a ravening and roaring lion.

I am poured out like water,

and all my bones are out of joint;

my heart is like wax;

it is melted within my breast;

my strength is dried up like a potsherd,

and my tongue sticks to my jaws;

you lay me in the dust of death.

For dogs encompass me;

a company of evildoers encircles me;

they have pierced my hands and feet—

I can count all my bones—

they stare and gloat over me;

they divide my garments among them,

and for my clothing they cast lots.

But you, O LORD, do not be far off!

O you my help, come quickly to my aid!

Deliver my soul from the sword,

my precious life from the power of the dog!

Save me from the mouth of the lion!

You have rescued me from the horns of the wild oxen!

I will tell of your name to my brothers;

in the midst of the congregation I will praise you:

You who fear the LORD, praise him!

All you offspring of Jacob, glorify him,

and stand in awe of him, all you offspring of Israel!

For he has not despised or abhorred

the affliction of the afflicted,

and he has not hidden his face from him,

but has heard, when he cried to him.

From you comes my praise in the great congregation;

my vows I will perform before those who fear him.

The afflicted shall eat and be satisfied;

those who seek him shall praise the LORD!

May your hearts live forever!

All the ends of the earth shall remember

and turn to the LORD,

and all the families of the nations

shall worship before you.

For kingship belongs to the LORD,

and he rules over the nations.

All the prosperous of the earth eat and worship;

before him shall bow all who go down to the dust,

even the one who could not keep himself alive.

Posterity shall serve him;

it shall be told of the Lord to the coming generation;

they shall come and proclaim his righteousness to a people yet unborn,

that he has done it.

Compendium 4.20.11

2011-04-20T14:05:00.000-04:00

Hopefully the gray, drizzly skies of April in Upstate New York will give way to...slightly lighter gray skies and maybe some dried puddles. It's the best I can hope for!

I've been voracious with my reading lately (there's been a little trick to that, too), so today's Compendium will be devoid of weblinks, but full of some miniature reviews. Enjoy!

Reading List

Here's a little bit of what I'm reading:

I'm probably the last person on earth to read Life of Pi by Yann Martel, but I can tell you it was worth the wait. I've experienced Martel's writing before, in last year's Beatrice and Virgil, so I knew what to anticipate: a writer so in-tuned to the weaving of his story that there are no throw-away details, a book that expects an engaged reader, a plot line that is wholly one thing but also wholly something else, a story that's not just an allegory, but about allegories. I need to wrap my brain around the ending of Pi. (The last couple chapters are like, "Wait, what?)

After a long wait I finally have a copy of Tim Challies' The Next Story: Life and Faith After the Digital Explosion in my hands! It's about technology, and the questions Christians should ask themselves when using their technology: Is this iPhone controlling me? Is this internet helping me slip into my vices? Does the latest-greatest gadget have a negative side to it? I've been following the release of this one, and got to hear Challies talk about the principles in the book at the Ligonier National Conference last month, and I'm bummed that my life circumstances have hindered me from being further in this! But I hope to have it finished within the next week. Look for a review on this blog after that.

Just had my first Annie Dillard experience with The Maytrees. A non-fiction author most known for her classic Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, she takes on a slim novella-like story about a couple's lives in early century Cape Cod. I have to say, I was disappointed. The book read more like a collection of character sketches, and the morally bereft decision of the husband to leave his wife is well overlooked, his adultery condoned when his wife takes him back after twenty years without a mention of the incident or the devastation it most likely caused. I found little to grasp on to except some eloquent, yet sparse, sea imagery. I do still want to read Pilgrim someday, and won't let this experience stop me.

I just started Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell, my first Gladwell. I always hear good things about his writing. I'm interested to see how closely the theory of "blink" - intuitive, split-second, but dead-on reactions - relates to what Christians call discernment.

I recently finished a book on envy by Bob Sorge, and wrote some of my thoughts about it here.

And of course, I am slowly savoring my way through John Piper's Desiring God: Meditations Of A Christian Hedonist. Delightful...

Awareness of the Third Party

2011-04-18T07:55:00.001-04:00

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ." - Col. 3:23-24

"There is no such things as success or failure, only obedience." - Robert Shepitka

The goal of every Christian is to live in such a way as not to do for themselves or for others, but for the Third Party: God. It's an interesting way to go about life, a free way. The worries and concerns of what another will think will not be part of the transaction. What will matter is what the Lord has spoken. We often find ourselves in situations where we're concerned what the response from another will be. Will they approve of me? Will they like what I'm going to say? Will they be angry? But a yet better question, directed to God, is this: Have you lead me into the decision I've made? If so, then go forth confidently to tell the other, for you rest upon the certainties of the Lord rather than the emotional responses of man.

Whether you succeed or fail seems not to matter. Were you obedient to what the Lord asked of you? If you can say yes, rest in the decision. And surrender everything else to His crafting.

Jesus knew the things that were in the hearts of men (Matt. 9:4), and therefore never based His ministry upon their responses. Did He succeed with them? Did He fail with them? His obedience was to His Father, and while the cross looked like an outward failure to His followers, Jesus was confident in the decision and leading of His Father. He proceed in it, unswayed by men.

It's quite a challenge to live this way. Situations will tumble and we could be left wondering, Why did that fail? I thought I was following God? You were; it failed anyway. But there are greater lessons to be learned in obedience, and He loves us too much to give us a life of pure success.

Go ahead. Wrestle with it, especially with the principle of Rob's quote above. I will spend a lifetime trying to mine the rich depths of that one.

Envy

2011-04-15T16:27:00.000-04:00

As I'm contemplating how to write about envy, I find that the thoughts slip away quickly. Volumes have been written about the "obvious" sins: pride, idolatry, speaking wrongly and falsely about others, not trusting in the sovereignty of God. But envy? It's a sin I can't seem to keep focused on, a sin like fog that hovers and is gone again. It's something I believe I have a real issue with, and I know I'm not alone. But why do I say "believe"? Am I not convinced? No, for envy is the one sin we feel we are justified in harboring, because of what we think we are entitled to.

Facing Envy

I've been reading Bob Sorge's book Envy: The Enemy Within, which dares to face this sin head on. It's a book that you can read, or it's a book that can read you. He describes envy as "the feeling of displeasure produced by witnessing or hearing of the advantage of prosperity of others." He goes on to compare it to jealousy, and says that the differences are negligable, but I will disagree. Jealousy is wanting something for your own; envy is wanting something for your own by taking it away from someone else. While jealousy can and usually does have its root in something righteous - God's jeaousy for His people, a husband's jeaously for his wife - envy cannot ever be rightous, cannot ever be right or good or give glory to God. So why do we dwell in it?

John Calvin says that the human heart is an idol factory. The highest idol of all is the idol of self. We care for ourselves and tend to our needs, fulfilling every demand that we make of ourselves, every request and desire. There's no one I serve more than me! Sometimes I wonder, as I grab yet another latte, how things would be different if every time I wanted to serve myself, I served another? The thought is usually only a thought; it doesn't take root, and drifts away. But that is what it means to love others as ourselves.

Talents

Envy is everywhere, and Sorge aims to reveal its appearance and destructiveness in the church. Using the example of the worship team which, he remarks, is the place of ministry where gifts are most able to be measured on a scale, he paints the example, derived from the parable of the talents, of the one-talent musicians, and the two-talent musician who arrives saying in his heart, "I have two talents! Let me lead!" Naturally shot to the head of the team, the two-talent musician grows and fosters the ministry, until the five-talent musician comes along. "Then one Sunday morning it happens. In the back door comes...5 talents! You're thinking to yourself, Go back to the pit from which thou didst crawl! You are shocked at the host of emotions that rise up within you as you stare at this 5-talent wonder. You know that if that woman with the 5 talents joins the worship ministry, her giftings will naturally make a way for herself, she will eventually be placed in charge of the worship ministry, and she will become the new savior of the worship team. You will be forgotten in the shadow of her exceptional giftings and wonderful spirit." He notes that the two-talent musician, upon arriving to the one-talent team, thinks, "Move over. I'm here now. Things are going to be a little different around here." But in the presence of the five-talent musician, he rears up in offense, wanting this stellar party to leave before they take away what he has. It is, as Sorge notes, "The dynamics of Ecclesiastes 4:4: 'Then I saw that all toil and all skill in work come from a man's envy of his neighbor. This also is vanity and a striving after wind.'"

What's In Our Hearts

Sorge lays hold of a truth in this sentence: "When someone next to you is promoted, you suddenly discover the true nature of your friendship." Because all is well when we toil and work with another, or within a group, but when one is singled out for promotion..? Man...watch out! Especially when one is given the promotion to a position we had our eyes on, and were pouring ourselves out to achieve. But does the fault lay with the one promoted? It really doesn't. Does the responsibility lay on God? Is it a defiency of our own heart? Both: the Lord is the one to promote or demote, to raise up kings or destroy nations, to give measures of grace according to His own good will; in seeking our own ambitions first, we set up expectations in our hearts that may not necessarily be met, expectations based on what we feel we are entitled to. But God has that final say, and when it is not us chosen...it's devastating. And a whole forest of emotions and thoughts burn with unwieldy fire inside us, reducing us to hatred, sin, backwards steps. Dust and ashes.

Envy is dark because its fuel is our own ambition. Perhaps at the root of other sin we can admit that it is bad for us. But at the root of envy we can only admit, "But that should've been me."

It takes someone truly surrendered to God's plan and purpose to be Ok with being overlooked. It is by humility and the grace of God that would bring us to say, "What I think is right for my life doesn't matter. It's what You know is right for my life that matters."

The Stumbling Block of Generosity

Jesus addressed this in the parable of the workers:

“For the kingdom of heaven is like a master of a house who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard. After agreeing with the laborers for a denarius a day, he sent them into his vineyard. And going out about the third hour he saw others standing idle in the marketplace, and to them he said, ‘You go into the vineyard too, and whatever is right I will give you.’ So they went. Going out again about the sixth hour and the ninth hour, he did the same. And about the eleventh hour he went out and found others standing. And he said to them, ‘Why do you stand here idle all day?’ They said to him, ‘Because no one has hired us.’ He said to them, ‘You go into the vineyard too.’ And when evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Call the laborers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last, up to the first.’ And when those hired about the eleventh hour came, each of them received a denarius. Now when those hired first came, they thought they would receive more, but each of them also received a denarius. And on receiving it they grumbled at the master of the house, saying, ‘These last worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat.’ But he replied to one of them, ‘Friend, I am doing you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for a denarius? Take what belongs to you and go. I choose to give to this last worker as I give to you. Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?’ So the last will be first, and the first last.”

We often read this - as we should - as an analogy about the Kingdom of God, and how whomever the Lord choose will be brought to Him regardless what stage of life they are in. But what about reading this literally? What about actually being in this situation? What about being the one who had labored from sunrise, believing that they would receive the greater pay at the end of the day, only to see those who came in later receive the same recognition, placement, and elevation? How does a heart respond to that? The master of the story is right: it is generosity. But who is able to see past their own offense to understand and be at peace with what the master did? How many of those workers went home that day offended, and let it turn into animosity, and let that turn into bitterness, which would consume their souls? Maybe they quit working for the master, and found themselves stuck, stifled, and distant from the work they took pride in, unwilling to connect anymore to their coworker friends, their generous master. Who of the late-in-the-day workers, happy with their gifts, knew that the early laborers were sick with offense and despair? The late workers were glad the situation was "unfair"; the early workers were inflamed that the situation was "unfair."

It's envy. "They don't deserve it, I do." And it's deadly. And it infiltrates the heart and the mind, a subtle hand upon the wrist that ever so gently tugs, and tugs, and tugs, until you find yourself far away in a lost, distant place, brooding alone. How can we repent for a sin we don't know is sin? How can we turn from something we are convinced is so right, taking our rightful place according to how lofty we believe ourselves to be? How can we rid ourselves of a Cain heart before our brothers are slaughtered at our hands?

I mostly just read this book because I did not want this book to read me. Because I've been there: two-talents glaring at five, seeing the substance of my own relationships after promotion, an early laborer offended at generosity. It's deep. It's not much addressed in the church. It's silent. And it's killing us and curtailing the fullness of God's ministries.

The cure? Repentance, repentance, repentance. Every minute that emotion flashes in the gut, repentance. Looking to Him, from Whom all things are given. Understanding His sovereignty. Being Ok with what He has for us. Delighting in His will for others.

Check the heart. It's an idol factory.

Compendium 4.12.11

2011-04-12T07:39:00.000-04:00

Jon Acuff, in a brief video about blogging, says "The hardest part about writing a blog is writing a blog." Truth. The hardest part about writing anything is writing it. The most delightful part of writing is the stage of creation, when ideas are formed and shaped and tested in the mind and imagination. But sitting down before the keyboard, putting permanence and structure to those ideas...? Yikes.

But I think, in my amateur blogger awareness, that perhaps the second hardest thing about writing a blog is deciding what it is, and what it isn't. Audience? Post length? Topic? Broad essays on whatever I feel like writing that day, or narrow niche article to target a particular reader? Layout, design, color? Portraying a brand? Frequency of posts? All text, or multimedia? What blogs do I follow? What blogs do I like? Can I emulate any of those blogs in that same niche?

As any good writer should be reading to see what's out there, any good blogger should be reading blogs to see what those who have come before him or her are doing. So, in taking a cue from Tim Challies and Alyse French, I am going to embark on a kind of A La Carte/Tidbit Tuesdays type of thing. (That, and I just have a lot of information pass by my eyes on a daily basis, so why not share?) I'm going to try it out; let me know what you think!

www.Challies.com - First, be sure to check his blog out. A young, digitally-savvy Christian with a new book about Biblical discernment and technology, Tim Challies is one of the forerunners in the Reformed blog-o-sphere.

Alyse French Photography - Speaking of, she's an acquaintance of mine from Albany, and her wedding photography blog has some of the most beautiful, astute, creative photography I've seen. I like to pop over there and just gawk - it lifts my spirits!

Play the Man: Would You Die for Doctrine? - A stark summary of the sacrifices of those brave translators of the Reformation, martyred so that someday we could carry a Bible in our own language in our hands. By Matthew Barrett over at the Gospel Coalition.

Biblical Theology - The Resurgence is launching a series on Biblical Theology. A very valuable doctrine to understand. Check out their other resources, too, and their graphic design. A great young leadership site from the Mark Driscoll crew.

I Love Typography - Crazy-awesome typography blog for those of us who get really dorky about fonts!

Top America Pro-Israel Organizations - A fun infographic about top organizations that support Israel. The listings are not a surprise to those involved in Israel advocacy, but it's fun to see this compiled in one place (and a Bridges for Peace mention). From Andrew Summey's new blog 12:3 Agency, a blog I'm going to be watching because I think it has some great potential.

Have a good week!

Passover and Resurrection: Christ Backwards and Forwards

2011-04-08T07:40:00.000-04:00

For the past two years the articles I've written for my church in this current season have focused on Christ backwards and forwards, and I want to ask why. It wasn't a tactic I had planned, as if I had outlined an essay of Biblical theology, to trace a narrative from Genesis to Revelation. It just happened organically. But that is who Christ is: Redeemer from the beginning, slain lamb, risen Lord, and coming King. Christ didn't just happen in 33AD. Christ has always been happening, and will always happen. He is the One who was, is, and is to come.

Jesus' death and resurrection occurred at the time of the spring feasts - Passover, the Feast of First Fruits, and the Feast of Unleavened Bread - and their co-concurrence happened not by chance. It was never that the Son of God just so happened to have been crucified at Passover; the crucifixion of the Son of God had always been planned for Passover, as His death was to be the substance behind the central symbol of Passover: the slain lamb. Jesus was not the first slain lamb (though He was the first, and only, that fulfilled what sacrificing a lamb meant). Lambs had been slain at Passover for centuries before Jesus, and as a boy, He would have witnessed his own father tend to the animal in the preparation week, and then slit its throat as an offering in the Jerusalem Temple. Jesus had only been fulfilling what had began years before.

Christ Backwards
The first Passover is recorded in the book of Exodus:

The LORD said to Moses and Aaron in the land of Egypt, “This month shall be for you the beginning of months. It shall be the first month of the year for you. Tell all the congregation of Israel that on the tenth day of this month every man shall take a lamb according to their fathers' houses, a lamb for a household. And if the household is too small for a lamb, then he and his nearest neighbor shall take according to the number of persons; according to what each can eat you shall make your count for the lamb. Your lamb shall be without blemish, a male a year old. You may take it from the sheep or from the goats, and you shall keep it until the fourteenth day of this month, when the whole assembly of the congregation of Israel shall kill their lambs at twilight.

"Then they shall take some of the blood and put it on the two doorposts and the lintel of the houses in which they eat it. They shall eat the flesh that night, roasted on the fire; with unleavened bread and bitter herbs they shall eat it. Do not eat any of it raw or boiled in water, but roasted, its head with its legs and its inner parts. And you shall let none of it remain until the morning; anything that remains until the morning you shall burn. In this manner you shall eat it: with your belt fastened, your sandals on your feet, and your staff in your hand. And you shall eat it in haste. It is the LORD's Passover. For I will pass through the land of Egypt that night, and I will strike all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast; and on all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgments: I am the LORD. The blood shall be a sign for you, on the houses where you are. And when I see the blood, I will pass over you, and no plague will befall you to destroy you, when I strike the land of Egypt.

“This day shall be for you a memorial day, and you shall keep it as a feast to the LORD; throughout your generations, as a statute forever, you shall keep it as a feast. Seven days you shall eat unleavened bread. On the first day you shall remove leaven out of your houses, for if anyone eats what is leavened, from the first day until the seventh day, that person shall be cut off from Israel. On the first day you shall hold a holy assembly, and on the seventh day a holy assembly. No work shall be done on those days. But what everyone needs to eat, that alone may be prepared by you. And you shall observe the Feast of Unleavened Bread, for on this very day I brought your hosts out of the land of Egypt. Therefore you shall observe this day, throughout your generations, as a statute forever. In the first month, from the fourteenth day of the month at evening, you shall eat unleavened bread until the twenty-first day of the month at evening. For seven days no leaven is to be found in your houses. If anyone eats what is leavened, that person will be cut off from the congregation of Israel, whether he is a sojourner or a native of the land. You shall eat nothing leavened; in all your dwelling places you shall eat unleavened bread" (Exodus 12:1-20).

It really wasn't a coincidence for Jesus to be bloodied and brutalized, His flesh cut up and His body hung to die, at the time of the Passover. It was a time when blood was used to save souls from death; those whom had painted the blood of the lamb upon their doorposts were spared from God's wrath that terrible night in Egypt. It would be centuries later when Jesus, accepting the cup His Father had chosen for Him, went to death in order that His people be spared from the wrath of God's justice, making atonement for sin (becoming physically what yet another feast, Yom Kippur, represented symbolically) and saving the lives of His chosen that night, and forevermore.

The Last Seder
Go forward again to first century Judea, and to the upper room on the night before His crucifixion. It was Erev Pesach, or the evening of Passover:

Then came the day of Unleavened Bread, on which the Passover lamb had to be sacrificed. So Jesus sent Peter and John, saying, “Go and prepare the Passover for us, that we may eat it.” They said to Him, “Where will You have us prepare it?” He said to them, “Behold, when you have entered the city, a man carrying a jar of water will meet you. Follow him into the house that he enters and tell the master of the house, ‘The Teacher says to you, Where is the guest room, where I may eat the Passover with my disciples?’ And he will show you a large upper room furnished; prepare it there.” And they went and found it just as He had told them, and they prepared the Passover (Luke 22:7-13).

It would be an evening of great celebration, centering around a meal called a seder where certain foods are eaten in remembrance of God's salvation of the Jews from Egypt, and His bringing them out of slavery into His land of promise. It was during this night of symbolism and remembrance that Jesus took the cup of wine and the unleavened bread, items which themselves already carried Passover significance, and gave them additional significance (note: not superseding significance). The bread is His body, the wine His blood, not yet broken and shed, but soon to be. And He tells them that whenever they partake of it - the Passover meal, remembering the Lord's hand bringing them forth from bondage - they are to remember Him: His hand bringing His people forth from physical bondage in Egypt, and His sacrifice upon the cross, bringing His people forth from spiritual bondage, saving them from the sin of their own souls. As Christ Himself looked back at the graciousness of His Father's hand, He looked forward to His own death and resurrection, and to His church's future practice of the remembrance of the cross. The elements of a Passover meal altered into the the sacrament of Communion.

Two Johns Reveal the Connection
Is connecting Jesus' death at Passover and His atonement something that modern Hebraic roots aficionados have constructed? Not at all. There was something recognized about who Jesus was and would be when His cousin exclaimed, upon seeing Him arriving to the River Jordan to be baptized, "Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!" (John 1:29). The next day John refers to Jesus in the same way - "Behold, the Lamb of God" (John 1:36) - and the identification as such prompts two men to follow Him and become His disciples. John the Baptizer, a Jew who had observed the Passover every year of his life, had a revelatory insight into the role Jesus would play. He looked backwards at his own history to recognize who the Messiah was, and what He would be for the people.

John, Jesus' disciple, also had a recognition of this Passover link when, years after Jesus' death and resurrection, and after a lifetime of testifying to the Messiah, he was chosen to be revealed the things of the end of days. John was brought to the very throne room of God, and stood amidst the twenty four elders and four living creatures, before the altar of incense and the throne itself.

Then I saw in the right hand of Him who was seated on the throne a scroll written within and on the back, sealed with seven seals. And I saw a strong angel proclaiming with a loud voice, “Who is worthy to open the scroll and break its seals?” And no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth was able to open the scroll or to look into it, and I began to weep loudly because no one was found worthy to open the scroll or to look into it. And one of the elders said to me, “Weep no more; behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered, so that He can open the scroll and its seven seals.”

And between the throne and the four living creatures and among the elders I saw a Lamb standing, as though it had been slain, with seven horns and with seven eyes, which are the seven spirits of God sent out into all the earth. And He went and took the scroll from the right hand of Him who was seated on the throne (Revelation 5:1-7).

John recognized Jesus' past as he looked into the future, seeing, as John the Baptizer did, Jesus fulfilling a role that had only been recognized and remembered symbolically, for "These [festivals] are a shadow of the things to come, but the substance belongs to Christ" (Colossians 2:17).

Christ Forwards
On Passover, all Jews were to come to Jerusalem to celebrate, bringing their lambs with them. They would sacrifice their lamb in the Temple according to custom, and it was at the same time as this that Jesus was being nailed to the crossbeam of His instrument of torture and death. It was upon the magnificent Temple Mount structure that He looked in His final moments, the place where, years before, Abraham had come to sacrifice his own son, where Solomon’s Temple resided, where the glory and presence of the Lord dwelt in the Most Holy Place within the Temple structure, where Jesus purged His Father’s house of prayer, where those whom Jesus longed to gather to Himself prayed, where there would be 3,000 converted and baptized to a baby church, where soon after there would be not one stone left upon another, and where someday He will return, to rule and reign as King in the New Jerusalem.

All this occurred at the time of Passover, when the blood of the lamb saves the people from death, to deliver them into new life.

A Video to Share

2011-04-05T16:04:00.003-04:00

While I'm working on an article about Christ and Passover, I wanted to share the following video from Elevation Church I found a few month ago. Enjoy this story, and let it sink deep into your soul and emotions as we begin this Resurrection Season.

Elevation Easter Experience: Opening Video from Elevation Church on Vimeo.

Ligonier National Conference: Recapping Three Days of Glorifying God

2011-04-02T10:13:00.000-04:00

I've written a few responses on the conference so far, but haven't given a full recap of it . So here it is:

I had learned about the Ligonier Ministries National Conference "Light and Heat: A Passion for the Holiness of God" with R. C. Sproul and guest John Piper last fall when my good friend and theological kindred spirit emailed me with the announcement - and in the subject line: "Ahhhhhhhhh!" Which, in our terminology, translates to, "Wow, what a line-up! It would be amazing to go!" I promptly responded with an equally ecstatic "Ahhhhhhhhh!" Oh yes it would! As my walk with Christ has deepened in the past five years, R. C. Sproul and his ministry resources, John Piper, Sinclair Ferguson, Tim Challies, and the larger modern Reformed realm in general have informed my theology, giving me a structure within which to understand and know God more. To go to a conference where they would be present, to sit under their teaching, would be a great dream.

The Lord's good providence made it a reality.

We got there early to check out the bookstore (my friend and I were in our element), and I had no idea there's free stuff at a conference - what a blessing! Free Piper book at check-in, free Tabletalk magazines, free resources from the exhibit tables, discounts on all the books in the giant hall, the cool Missional Wear people set up in the corner. I got my little name-tag. And the place was huge! I've never been in a church so big! Thousands of us coming to learn about the holiness of God. We barely got our fill of the bookstore before heading into the main sanctuary for the first session.

Thursday began in the afternoon with R. C. Sproul, who had been seriously ill the week before, but who braved it and stuck it out, and held to his schedule of talks with grace, commitment, and brilliance. In "Forty Years of Proclaiming God's Holiness," he spoke about what it was like to come to know God, and about his influential book The Holiness of God. In "War on the Word" Steven Lawson laid out five ways Satan attempts to undermine God - and it always starts with attacking the inerrancy of His word. Sinclair Ferguson spoke on "Why the God-Man?", delivering an amazing picture of Christ as last Adam that could only have come from a place of deep contemplation and fixed gaze upon Jesus. I delight in Dr. Ferguson's craft of sentences, all rich with understanding of the person and work of the Son of God. During the dinner break my favorite blogger Tim Challies did an optional session in which he talked about the topic of his new book: technological discernment, and the way Christians should live and interact with technology in a Biblical way. A last minute addition to the line-up, Challies' presence was like a last minute delightful surprise to me! A Q&A session capped the night, with Sinclair Ferguson, Steven Lawson, R.C. Sproul, Jr., and Robert Godfrey discussing their favorite books, recognizing God's grace by seeing our own depravity, temptation and Satan's challenge to the church, contemporary pastoral positives and negatives, and above all, Christ. Between talks we all stood together and sang hymns of old, accompanied by the Ligonier Symphonia, and the church's mammoth pipe organ.

Friday - the long day! - began early with what I could only describe as a throw-back to my college philosophy classes: R.C. Sproul and apologetics. In "Defending the Faith" Dr. Sproul made the connection between faith and reason, who are dependent upon one another, and the mind's role in the life of the Christian. He then delved into Augustine's logic of proving God's existence, using Descartes' "Cogito ergo sum" to enforce that a knowledge of God's existence begins with an awareness of ourselves and our own finiteness. It was thick thinking, and delightful! R.C. Sproul, Jr. followed his dad, and in his talk "Almighty Over All" he asked the age-old question of "Why suffering?" He took us through texts that talked about instances of suffering in the Bible, and then departed from it, telling us his own story of suffering: his wife's third bout with cancer, his own bout with cancer, his daughter's disability. In it he has to live out what he believes about God's sovereignty, His love and goodness, and His desire to conform us to Christ by using whatever means necessary. It was a look at Reformed theology application in the real moments of life. Worshiping the Lord in suffering: a real, tangible, freeing, comforting truth that the church needs to clutch. Steven Lawson talked of heaven's throne room worship in Revelation 4 in "Worshiping the Triune God." A quick lunch, more bookstore time. And then it was John Piper, giving the basis for his book of the same name in his talk "Don't Waste Your Life": God means to be known and treasured, Jesus is the apex of the glory He redeemed us to see, and joyful suffering of the saints glorifies God. R.C. Sproul returned with "Clothed in Righteousness," connecting Adam and Eve's God-crafted clothing to Jesus' imputed righteousness. We then sang the hymn "Clothed in Righteousness," written by Dr. Sproul. Sinclair Ferguson conducted an optional session based on his book By Grace Alone. The night ended with a treat: R.C. Sproul and John Piper on the same stage, giving "Ministry Reflections" upon their times serving the Lord, and leading Ligonier Ministries and Desiring God Ministries, respectively. These two men could be said to be the giants of today's theological world, yet they both exuded humility and dependence upon God, giving preference and deference to His Word and statutes before their own wants and ideas. One of the sweetest moments came when, forgetting the moderators, Dr. Piper began to ask Dr. Sproul questions, like a student before his teacher! They spoke of the beauty of God, the public radiance of His glory, the necessity of gazing on Jesus to escape corruption, and their pleasure in seeing the younger generation of Reformed Christians stepping up in public writing and teaching roles.

Saturday morning, the last portion of the conference, began with John Piper speaking on "Evangelism and Missions," admonishing that missions must stem from a love of God's sovereignty and work in the earth, and not out of our own will. He talked of the forerunners of the modern missionary movement, and the global geographic shift of Christian centers. Robert Godfrey addressed the question of "Pleasing God," using the example of Mary's ointment, the Puritans, the church at Smyrna, and the martyrs of the Reformation to link listening and obedience to pleasing God. John Piper finished out the morning, and the conference, with "Twenty-Five Years of Desiring God," his heart's statement on delighting in the Lord, and being happy in Him. It was "classic Piper": animated, cutting in its truth, quirky in analogy, deeply affecting. What is at the bottom of our structures of happiness: a desire for our own name and will, or a desire for God and His will? As a farewell, in Ligonier tradition, a hundred or so attendees from the audience climbed on stage and sang the Hallelujah chorus in a bright, spectacular, final reverence in the glory, sovereignty, and majesty of the Lord.

I have to say, it was a classy conference. Well put together, honoring of God, honoring of His word. Dr. Piper prayed that it would be like an oasis for us, and I know for me it was: drinking deeply at the fountain of Jesus, engaging my mind and my heart towards understanding, and going home spiritual refreshed, wanting more of Him, more of Him, more of Him!

"The Church's One Foundation"

2011-04-01T21:50:00.000-04:00

I was introduced to this hymn last week, and could only listen, full of emotion, as it was sung. It is moving to me, burning with the heart's flame of the saints:

The Church's One Foundation

The church's one Foundation
Is Jesus Christ her Lord;
She is his new creation
By water and the Word:
From heav'n he came and sought her
To be his holy bride;
With his own blood he bought her,
And for her life he died.

Elect from ev'ry nation,
Yet one o'er all the earth,
Her charter of salvation
One Lord, one faith, one birth;
One holy Name she blesses,
Partakes one holy food.
And to one hope she presses,
With ev'ry grace endued.

Though with a scornful wonder
Men see her sore oppressed,
By schisms rent asunder,
By heresies distressed,
Yet saints their watch are keeping,
Their cry goes up, "How long?"
And soon the night of weeping
Shall be the morn of song.

The church shall never perish!
Her dear Lord to defend,
To guide, sustain and cherish
Is with her to the end;
Though there be those that hate her,
And false sons in her pale,
Against or foe or traitor
She ever shall prevail.

'Mid toil and tribulation,
And tumult of her war,
She waits the consummation
Of peace for evermore;
Till with the vision glorious
Her longing eyes are blest,
And the great church victorious
Shall be the church at rest.

Yet she on earth hath union
With the God the Three in One,
And mystic sweet communion
With those whose rest is won:
O happy ones and holy!
Lord, give us grace that we,
Like them, the meek and lowly,
On high may dwell with thee.

Lyricist: Samuel John Stone
Lyrics Date: 1866

Composer: Samuel Sebastian Wesley
Music Date: 1864

God-Centric: Pointing Up at the Ligonier Conference

2011-03-31T12:50:00.000-04:00

In the opening session of the Ligonier National Conference held last week in Orlando, R. C. Sproul remarked after relating the story of the success of his teaching series-turned-book The Holiness of God that "it's not a testimony of me, but of the subject matter." When Chris Larson, Executive Vice President of Ligonier Ministries and the conference's host, introduced R. C. Sproul and John Piper for their question and answer session, he said similarly: "We're not here celebrating men, but celebrating God."

Not one man teaching at that conference held any claim to a self-created theology or idea, something new and innovative that no one had seen or tried before. (The only one who came close was John Piper with his philosophy of Christian Hedonism, but even so he adopted that from Philippians 1:20 and the works of Jonathan Edwards.) Rather, the conference sessions themselves revolved around basic doctrine, and the simple truth of who God is. No one was out to say anything new.

Which seems rather antithetical in a postmodern world like this, yes? Where even the recycled is the new thing.

The truths of God are basic, though they open up into a lifetime of seeking to understand. He will stand forever. The speakers all seemed to have a sense of that, and seemed to have a sense of knowing where their place is: remaining in the shadow of the Almighty. Their words were of the Lord, exalting Him and praising Him, thinking deeply about Him, studying His Word. They all spoke about God, and about God first; there was neither self-created theology, nor self-orientation towards the gospel. In other words, the conference was not about how we live, how we go forth in missions, how we align ourselves to a right living, and then comes God's recognition for it. The speakers turned their attention to God first, God foremost, God permeating, God in all. We rightly align our own lives by constantly and consistently fixing our gaze upon Him. A. W. Tozer wrote that eight hundred pianos cannot be tuned to one another, but they can be tuned to one tuning fork.

The men who spoke did not focus on themselves, on their accolades or accomplishments or philosophic achievements or ministry successes. They, like a conduit, pointed us to the Lord. As if, in looking to them, they were telling us, "No, not to us. Look up, further still."

Tullian Tchividjian on Seeking Jesus First in Life and Ministry

2011-03-30T14:15:00.000-04:00

Just a good message, preached from Colossians 1:9-14 (a great passage to hang out in, by the way).
From The Resurgence conference "Our Fathers & Our Future," recently held in Orlando, FL.

(HT: The Resurgence)

Back From Florida, and the Ligonier National Conference

2011-03-28T23:48:00.000-04:00


Ligonier National Conference 2011

I spent the past week on a much-needed vacation in warm, sunny, delightful coastal Florida with some great friends, enjoying myself immensely. One of the highlights of that trip was the Ligonier Ministries National Conference entitled "Light and Heat: A Passion for the Holiness of God" (www.ligonier.org). On my calendar since last fall, this conference was to have two of the biggest names in Christian theology: R. C. Sproul and John Piper. Authors of two of the most influential books on the majesty of God and man's delight in Him - The Holiness of God and Desiring God, respectively - and head of two foundational ministries furthering sound Biblical teaching and resources, Sproul and Piper together at one conference was an attraction to me. They more than any have informed my theology and knowledge of God in the recent years, as I've grown to know Him deeper and in more complex and stirring ways.

Joining them at the conference were other notable figures in the Reformed sphere: Sinclair Ferguson, R.C. Sproul, Jr., Steven Lawson, Robert Godfrey, the excellent team of Tabletalk magazine, headed up by Burk Parsons, and blogger extraordinaire Tim Challies.

Though I hope to write about some of the teachings and truths in the next few days, I will say that, overall, I came away with this: Christ should and will be magnified and exalted, as He was by the men who spoke so highly of Him, not from acquired intellectual knowledge, but from a place of deep contemplation on the wonderful and fearful things of God.

More to come in the next few days. In the meantime, if you have not taken advantage of the amazing resources at Ligonier Ministries and Desiring God, go delve deep into their offerings. They provide many free teachings and books, informative blogs, excellent resource stores, and can also be found on Facebook and Twitter as well.

Check out pictures from the conference at Ligonier's Flickr page - some beautiful captures.

Check out Tabletalk magazine, too. What a great monthly devotional, with some really rich articles. Sign up for a free trial subscription.

And for crying out loud, why are you not already following Tim Challies's blog?! Look for his new book The Next Story to be out this week.

Beyond the Surface: Rob Bell and Biblical Interpretation

2011-03-17T11:17:00.000-04:00

The big debate going in the Christian blog-o-sphere right now is over the theology of Rob Bell's new book, Love Wins: A Book About Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Has Ever Lived, and ultimately, over the theology of Rob Bell himself. Rob Bell is a pastor at Mars Hill Church in Michigan (not to be confused with Driscoll's Mars Hill Church in Seattle), and is most known for his first book Velvet Elvis - you know, the one with the cover of the guy falling through space - and his series of hip and edgy mini-movies created for small group discussion called Nooma. I won't add my review to the mix, since others have done such a better job than I ever could: Justin Taylor first sounded the alarm, followed by Tim Challies with the first review; Kevin DeYoung wrote his own 20-page review, and The Resurgence posted "A Chronology of Rob Bell on Hell." You can read up on what's going on through these excellent, and Biblically sound, blogs. But there is something I want to look at.

I watched a few videos today, interviews with Rob Bell. There was a long one, an interview with Newsweek's Lisa Miller, that got me thinking, questioning, wondering. I noticed some things about Rob Bell that I can relate to, but had to get past in my own life in order to press through towards deeper captivation of the Lord, and towards the truth of the Gospel.

What I noticed is this: Rob Bell says "I think" a lot. When asked questions about specific theology or to address points of Christianity, he tended to begin with the phrase "I think," and then delved into a explanation of his view of things. That's what I picked up on: his view of things. I get a sense from him that he's attempting to figure it out himself; instead of submitting to what the Bible says on the subject, he's suggesting his own interpretation, filtering the Gospel through his own frantically questioning brain.

I also noticed that he talks a lot about the stories of the Bible, looking to extract meaning from them, perhaps linking them together in some kind of meta-narrative. He plays with these stories - of Jesus healing the man lowered into the room, or Moses striking the rock - and looks at them as a literary theorist would, seeking to piece together meaning from his own experience and belief, following in the post-structuralist sense that meaning lays within the reader.

I've been there. I've wrapped myself up in metaphor and theory and relativism and cool, abstract thinking (my entire time at college). But what this vein of criticism leaves out is this: there is absolute truth behind the narrative. The Bible isn't just a string of stories presented to us for us to figure out. The Bible is the truth of God - His word, action, plan, and intentions - acted out in history. We also get the added bonus of the "philosophic commentary," so to speak, of Paul's writings. While the doctrines of the Christian faith were labeled later on, they always existed working behind the events of the Bible - doctrines that are an unchanging reflection of who God is.

By venturing off into "I think" land, Rob Bell is allowing the interpretations and perceptions of one man to supersede not only centuries of consistent doctrinal truth, but application of those truths within church history, and even the words of Jesus Christ Himself. All this controversy is rising up because of that one thing: Side-stepping the hard words of Jesus Himself, and mining the Bible only for what is palatable and friendly, namely, better, easier, nicer words about heaven and hell than what the Messiah Himself spoke of it.

The hard truth is this: As Christians, we must surrender our own interpretations and ways to the truths and facts that God has laid out for us in His Word. Sometimes it's hard to smash an idol of a certain way of thinking for submission to a different way, the only Way. Rob Bell's created his branding around asking questions, and while questions are good, and needed, the questions should lead us to the truth of the Gospel, and not away from it.

The other thing his "I think" statement did? It took the glory and worth off of the Lord and His words, and turned it on Rob Bell and his words. Maybe he's Ok with that, but as Christians, we should always be seeking to glorify our Lord and Redeemer. To love Him is to obey Him.

I've been there, Rob Bell. I've been there. And I had to learn that even though I can come up with a sophisticated, or postmodern, or forward-thinking interpretation, I was still wrong if I didn't align to - and ultimately submit to - what the Bible says. It's when we stray from a Berean-like intensity, checking all things against Scripture, that gaps can form and heresy can bloom. Pray - for all of us - for a renewed love of the Gospel, and the Word, and to not put away the difficult things but to press into them with zeal, knowing our Lord is drawing us deeper.

Mercy and Law in Les Miserables

2011-03-14T22:04:00.000-04:00

The 25th anniversary concert of Les Miserables has been on WMHT for the past few weeks and, musical dork that I am, I've made it an event. Having delved into my fair share of musicals back in high school, I found worthy and delightful pretty much anything by Andrew Lloyd-Weber (save Cats and Jesus Christ Superstar, which is just blasphemous), and Les Miserables. Of all the 1980s West End-premiered musicals, I believe Les Miserables was the one that held the most weight (or perhaps just the highest body count), but something about it has endured and endeavored over the years that we're now upon a 25th anniversary, with little to no end in sight. There are many amazing aspects of it to speak about, but what drew me as a teenager is not what draws me now. Or rather, I see Les Miserables differently than I did then. Then, I enjoyed the musical construction and counterpoint, and the brave valiance of the students upon the barricade, and the allure of anything French.

What I see now is something wholly different: grace, mercy, and the law in the characters of Val Jean and Javert. Fragile hope and dreams in the face of the stark, harsh reality of life in the characters of Fantine and Eponine. The deep grief carried by the character Marius after the battle. I guess, now that I'm older, I see the humanity in Les Miserables.

I also now see the role of the Lord and His character, and the affecting extension of grace a sacrificial bishop made to Val Jean, a sinner, and the new birth he embarked upon, extending his own sacrificial grace again and again to those he meets. ("He who has been forgiven much, loves much.") It's interesting to see the clash of mercy and the law, as Javert cannot accept that men can change, and will not extend mercy. He believes his unflinching, merciless upholding of justice is real justice, yet mercy - not giving someone what they deserve - really does have its place within the structures of justice too. Even the courts of America have a built-in mercy to them, in the early stages of penalty. For it's the granting of mercy that changed Val Jean, and the withholding of mercy that ultimately killed Javert.

It's interesting to me now to attempt to understand Javert's heart. Acts of grace extended to him did not change him as they do Val Jean, but throw him into an existential crisis. He cannot accept a world system that is different from his, one that contains compassion, one that contains the recognition of people as human beings. It destroys him. And rather than change and allow his heart to be softened ("If you hear My voice, do not harden your heart."), he continues in his merciless, selfish ways and kills himself. Perhaps the ultimate justice he upholds is upon himself; perhaps, for fear of softening like Val Jean, he must stop himself from "infecting" the illusion he upheld as truth.

I have not yet read the novel. I'm excited to, and think I will once I finish my current book. I'm excited to see these themes fleshed out, broadened and deepened. But right now I still appreciate the work of the musical, and the truth it has brought to stages all over the world.

For Japan

2011-03-13T14:12:00.001-04:00

May the God of Jacob be your refuge in this time of peril - shalom.

Psalm 46

God is our refuge and strength,

a very present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,

though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam,

though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,

the holy habitation of the Most High.

God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;

God will help her when morning dawns.

The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;

he utters his voice, the earth melts.

The LORD of hosts is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

Come, behold the works of the LORD,

how he has brought desolations on the earth.

He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;

he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;

he burns the chariots with fire.

“Be still, and know that I am God.

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth!”

The LORD of hosts is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

Pointed to by E.A.

Honesty With One Another

2011-03-11T23:57:00.000-05:00

Are we able to be honest with God in our prayer? Are we able to be honest with one another in our prayer? I'm noticing something interesting in our corporate gatherings: when asked if anyone has any prayer requests, it's usually a yes - for someone else. Salvation for a family member, or healing for a friend, or something for someone else. And that's fine, that's good, to be concerned with others. But it's a removal, a distancing - we're now praying for people we don't know and will never meet. And if it's a personal prayer request, it's usually for some kind of physical healing. Which is fine.

But rarely - actually, never - have I heard a prayer request about battling sin. "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed," is what James writes. Yet in our small group settings there seems to be a deflection from dealing with the deep and personal, even a deflection off the person entirely, onto a friend's trials.) What we should be seeing are more confessions of sin. "Please pray for me, I'm struggling with anger or lust or gossip," or, "Please pray that I would die to my flesh more." I've had these kinds of confessions and transparency one-on-one, and that's where the real relationship forms and digs in deep, where the real accountability begins. But why do these acts of confession and transparency not happen in our small groups?

I wonder if we just don't feel comfortable enough. One-on-one with a close, trusted friend is one thing, but being in a group of those we may not know well is another thing. We don't want to confess the deep, hard things of our soul. We don't want to say out loud to strangers that we're weak. But those strangers are the body of Christ, brothers and sisters in the faith. Shouldn't we confessing our deepest selves in these very setting?

He's After Character

2011-03-09T22:28:00.000-05:00

"More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." -Romans 5:3-5

God is after character. I'm learning that, though I tend to not want to think that. Because I'm more concerned about comfort, or success, or achievement, or getting to the goal. God's after character, not about comfort, or success, or achievement (for me). He's not about accomplishing the vision (as I am), but about building His people well and rightly. The means justifies the ends. The vision will be accomplished - and His name glorified - when those of godly character come together.

As Paul rightly recognizes, character is in the line of suffering, descended from it, and character precedes hope. It's really through the day to day hardship, the trials of difficult people, the grief of disappointments, butting up against sacrifice of our time and energies for others, that character is produced. It's hard. It's unpleasant. It doesn't feel like a positive. But it's how He works.

I would even go so far as to say that His gathering people together in a vision for a ministry is secondarily about the ministry, and primarily about the character and sanctification of the people involved. And He will be glorified through that.

Another Tuesday Night House of Prayer

2011-03-09T00:08:00.000-05:00

Trying to wrap my mind and heart around all the things prayed tonight at the Northeast House of Prayer. Among the many things:

- I remember during Worship With the Word, in the midst of delighting in the statues of God, thinking about His law, and His word. Thinking about Jeremiah 31, where His law would be written on our hearts. And the difference between a kind of legalistic law and a moral law. A legalistic law says do whatever you want, even if it's morally challenging, just don't break the law. But the moral law says, it may be legal, but if it's morally challenging, don't even go near it. It's the sweetness of knowing that there's a higher law, a law of righteousness and goodness being adhered to, even if it's not cool or looks funny. God writing His law upon our hearts. Delight in Him for it!

- For me, gaining a bit of a new understanding in prayer. Corporate prayer is not corporate performance, and our prayers are from Him and for Him, though there may be others there. A kind of tunnel-vision from me to God.

- Understanding the utter silliness of what we do in the world's eyes - we don't gather on Tuesday night to make money, or fix cars, or earning college credit. We come together to play music and pray. And it's usually the same people week after week, year after year...coming together to pray. I see a remnant of believers persevering through the call and grace of God to continue this endeavor whose full results we won't see this side of heaven. We just have to trust that bowls are being filled with the prayers of us saints.

For more info, go to www.nehop.org.

Suffering and Sovereignty - Romans 8:28

2011-03-07T22:49:00.001-05:00

"All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose..." Romans 8:28

Can all things really be working together for good? Maybe we think of the normal trials and tribulations of everyday life when we think of this verse. But when the major trials hit - the trials that wreck us, when we can mark the time when our lives would never be the same again, the trials that shake the foundations of belief and faith and leave us in despair for months, or even years - can we look at them and actually say, "God is afflicting me in this way for my good?"

There are those out there who would take this to mean that bad things happen, and that God does what He can with those bad things and turns them into good. But that view states that God is not sovereign. He not only doesn't know about the bad things that will happen, He is uninvolved in them happening. He just arrives like a butler to clean up the mess, or a crime scene investigator to pick up the pieces. This makes trials a bit easier to handle, but the god of those trials isn't God.

God is sovereign, and knows the end from the beginning. He is King who sits as ruler over the nations. He exacted a plan of redemption through His Son before the foundation of the world, and chose those whom He would save as well - foreknew to become predestined, to become sanctified into the image of His Son (keep reading in Romans for this one...). Job's trials were presented to Him at the allowance of the Lord. The Babylonian captivity was foretold by the Lord as something He was going to do. Jesus's death was ordained.

To create and ordain all things, and to have the plan to use suffering to conform us into the image of Christ, means that the Lord inflicts suffering upon us.

It's not something we think about comfortably.

It's a hard truth, because it essentially can be stripped down to, "God ordained the death of my spouse because He loves me and it's something good for me," or "God caused this immense rejection from a friend because He loves me and it's something good for me." The good-for-me part - it's a hard truth to understand. Maybe it can be understood in hindsight, but in the midst of the despair, the wrenching pain of affliction and the darkness, can we even comprehend that God is doing this because He loves us, that the situation is good for us? Perhaps we'd be far from that, in the valley of rebellion and confusion, asking where He is, why this, why did this happen?

Not saying, this affliction is the best thing You have for me right now.

But that is who He is. That is Romans 8:28.

Merciful Sponges

2011-03-04T23:08:00.000-05:00

I know the Bible doesn't come right out and say, "Be a sponge." I'm pretty sure it wasn't part of the Sermon on the Mount. But couldn't there be aspects of our lives where we are called to be a sponge?

I'm thinking of absorption. Absorbing other people's faults and failures, being porous enough to neutralize offense and let-downs.

Increasing spongy-ness takes wisdom, I think, to be selective in what to address or pursue. If everything causes an offense or makes you fly off the hook - if a friend showing up five minutes late makes you as angry as a loved one's rejection - then there's not enough spongy-ness there, I would say. Some things need to be absorbed, and in judging what should or shouldn't depends upon how big of a deal it is. Five minutes late for coffee is not a big deal, and can certainly be absorbed, and forgiven. Even five minutes late every time can be forgiven. Annoying. But can be absorbed. An offense, something harsher, takes a bit more grace to absorb. A bit more capacity for forgiveness. A lot more mercy. Sometimes when a situation just seems too big to absorb, it's probably because the sponge of my forgiveness isn't yet big enough to hold it. So I have to work on enlarging my sponge. Eventually the hardest things will be contained.

What if you're not a sponge? You're hard, cold, more like a shell. Things bounce off of a shell, and a shell is hollow and empty inside. (You get where I'm going.) If you're a shell there's no capacity for absorption, no ability to let the fault and shortcomings of others be accepted and let go. Little things become the biggest things, and the biggest things become unbearable. Five minutes late for coffee has ruined the world, and a love one's rejection means a life of bitterness and offense - even malice. Where does the shell come from? Perhaps a prideful nature, an unloving heart, an ego. If a shell cannot be humble enough to see the faults in themselves, how can they ever overlook the faults of others? And if you were to fall, who would you rather have near you - a shell, or a sponge?

I would like a sponge near me. Someone who, when I stumbled or fell, could absorb my weakness and sin, and move on. Not a shell, who, with blunt unforgiveness, would make it all worse. I've experienced both. And it's been the offered grace of sponges that have affected me - positively - the most.

And I think of Jesus who, while we were yet sinners, died for us. The ultimate sponge, taking on sin so that we could live. Surrounded by many who challenged and hurt Him, He was not offended or angry, because He loved them, saw past the scars and the shells, to the heart. The Samaritan woman's adultery didn't deter Him. The young ruler's riches didn't offend Him. Peter's disloyalty wasn't an end to Peter's walk with the Lord. These things were absorbed for greater mercy to be poured forth.

So, be a sponge.

Craft of Writing: Observation

2011-03-03T22:21:00.000-05:00

There's something that a writer needs: observation. The ability to notice, and remember. It's not enough to be vague, when you're attempting to create a character so real that the reader thinks they've met him or her before.

All recreation of life in art begins from studying the subject of reality itself. The sky does certain things, and room ceiling slant in different ways, and bookshelves show the clutteredness of their owner's mind. A man wears his cellphone in a pack on his hip, or wears cufflinks, walks slow or fast. It's not enough to write "The couple ate dinner," but "The husband scooped his tines through the holes of his rigatoni while his wife drank water from a wine glass." Because in life we all have these strange quirks, these features and characteristics, that make us who we are.

It's important also to collect experiences, to remember them. Remember the environment, remember the emotion. Remember a loss, the tightness in the stomach. Remember the elation of a fun night out with friends. Remember the oppression of stress. Remember things. Think of them again. And write them.

I sat on a bus traveling from Jerusalem to Israel's airport near Tel Aviv. It was dusk, the evening of a Sunday, and the setting sun lit up Jerusalem and its suburbs as we departed. I had been in the land for two weeks, at seminars, doing volunteer work, traveling, and witnessing heavy political things. It had been a political trip, a historical trip, a trip filled with the reality of the conflict between Jew and Arab, physically and emotionally. There are always issues of security in Israel, an awareness of God and a kind of holy, spiritual conflict deeper than flesh and blood. It all blended into that moment on the bus. The highway runs out in a wedge of Israeli territory from Jerusalem. Safe on the highway, the border fence can be seen, and beyond, the Arab villages of the Palestinian areas.

It was dusk, a quiet night. The bus cabin was quiet. I watched the sky grow dark, and looked out towards the landscape of Israel, towards those Arab villages. They were quiet, silent. I didn't see a lot of cars, or didn't notice them. I saw no people. I didn't notice many lights coming on. But I didn't sense a kind of peace about the quiet villages. Mosques rose in the centers of the villages, green neon lights adorning their minarets. The green, a green we had seen in our time there, cast an eerie, alien-like aura to the ancient stone. I had learned to be wary of the green lights. I watched that landscape, what I saw being something so idyllic, yet potentially dangerous. Exhaustion, departure, other deep emotions unrelated to the scene surfaced, and attached themselves to the small villages beyond the fence. What I experienced in that bus I think I could spend the rest of my life trying to capture in writing.

So watch. Learn of the world. Remember. And write.

Calling the Trial a Trial

2011-02-28T23:11:00.000-05:00

If we know we're being tested, is it easier to handle, I wonder? I had a friend once say to me, "I knew you had passed the test when you realized it was a test," referring to a situation I was going into that had the potential to be uncomfortable for me.

Is the recognition of a situation being a test for our faith, or our endurance, or our diligence, the moment that we pass it? It may be. I'm thinking of the book of Job, and the passage we came to tonight, when Job mentions for the first time his situation being "a trial." It's the first time in the book he seems to be aware that he's being tested in someway, and it's also the first time in the book that he realizes he's going to come out on the other side of it. Before his head had been cast down, and the only hope was to die and be rid of life forever. But Job somehow sees the testing nature of his affliction, and sees that he will come out pure as gold on the other side.

Why the sudden optimism? Before his talk there had been confusion, question, grief, and sorrow. Could the turn have come when he saw that there was a reason for this, that the Lord was putting him to the test to really see what he's made of, so to speak?

It seems that in the trials of life, there is often confusion, anger, sadness, and panic when things are lost or don't turn out right, or fail, or spiral downward. It's a very chaotic, anxious time, a very myopic time when everything seems to press in all around. But when the recognition is made - maybe there is something for me here, maybe there is something deeper to learn, something that is being brought to the surface in me, a deadly character flaw purged, or past hurts to face, or a new pressure to handle - perhaps that's when the shift comes, the confusion lifts, the grace of God descends, and the rest of the trial can be seen through to completion.

What do you think?

Meditations on Psalm 27 - Day 5

2011-02-25T19:24:00.000-05:00

Teach me your way, O LORD,
and lead me on a level path
because of my enemies.
Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
for false witnesses have risen against me,
and they breathe out violence.

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living!
Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD!
Psalm 27:11-14

David waited for the Lord. And trusted in the Lord's choice and timing. For he had been anointed future king that day near the field, looked upon with scorn by his brothers but with delight by the tall, mysterious prophet, who rose as his entrance and, in silence, approached him with the horn of oil.

The Spirit of the Lord came upon him that day, but what he didn't know is that the Spirit had traded King Saul for boy David.

He would too soon come into the presence of the king to play his music. There were challenges, hardship, long nights, and then the harassment and terrorizing from the king himself. The days in the desert. The battles, the fleeing, the pursuit, the rejection, the grief.

But David was waiting upon the Lord. When Saul's life was offered up to David again and again he said, I will not take it, and turned his eyes towards the sanctuary.

Life is only the Lord's to take. I won't love my own ambition more than I love Him who leads me. I won't be impulsive. I won't try. I will wait.

And the will of the Lord was done, and David delighted in. Not because he finally got to be king, but because the Lord was able to be recognized and honored for His plans and His motives. David gave space, and service, and devotion. The rest remained in the hands of the Lord.

Meditations on Psalm 27 - Day 4

2011-02-24T22:52:00.000-05:00

Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
You have said, “Seek my face.”
My heart says to you,
“Your face, LORD, do I seek.”
Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
O God of my salvation!
For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the LORD will take me in.
Psalm 27:7-10

It is like a maze, of narrow places and sharp corners. The Lord is always ahead of him, a fleeting shadow disappearing around the next corner. He runs to the break in the wall - I just need to see You! - and turns only to catch a glimpse as He disappears again.

I have chosen to seek You. I will pursue You.

You pursued me. I will pursue you.

It is a lonely pursuit, a race he can only run for himself. There is a long corridor. He chases his Beloved, nearer, growing nearer, just enough to touch the hem of His robe.

But gone. Just a glimpse.

I have to have more.

And then an empty room. Where have You gone? Turning around, looking towards open doors, dark hallways. Where are You? Where have You gone? Please, don't leave me here in this cold room alone. You have brought me this far...

There is movement from a far doorway.

The chase is on again. David delights in the pursuit.

Meditations on Psalm 27 - Day 3

2011-02-23T17:54:00.000-05:00

For he will hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.

And now my head shall be lifted up
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the LORD.
Psalm 27:5-6

David is unafraid. Whether his army wins the battle, or whether every man is left dead upon the field, the outcome was written long ago. The army of the king, consecrated to the Lord, pours into the field towards the enemies, and then the clash of swords, the shouts and cries, bodies every direction, all around, those seeking to destroy, movements quick, quick reactions, a soldier's training, the shield, the spear, and many fall, but many fight, David among them.

In the calm of the temple the king stays close to the King, by His side, at His feet. There is no one around but them, no one present. David delights to be in the presence of the Almighty. His heart rests and he is content. He sings for Him. He lingers around Him. Just wants to be near.

The grass grows damp with blood as if rain had fallen. The army surges forward, tumbles back. The enemy comes upon them like lions upon prey. They rise up again in a renewal of strength. The camp falls further behind. They are gaining the day.

David leads his army but knows he follows the One who leads them. He knows long ago that another leader came upon a man by the River Jordan, and asked Him if He was for them or against them. "Sir, are you friend or foe?" But the man responded, "I am the Lord of Hosts." He could have been saying back, "Who are you, small Joshua? Friend or foe to Me?"

The Lord too has prepared Himself for this day of battle, to gain victory over those who seek to destroy His people. He puts on righteousness as a breastplate, and a helmet of salvation on His head. He puts on garments of vengeance for clothing, and wraps Himself in zeal as a cloak.

The battle is done. David surveys the results. His looks around at his slain or fleeing enemy. The Lord has kept them that day. The men cheer in victory. David retreats.

His Lord is pleased with him; David is pleased with his Lord. He comes again to the place of the Holy One, battle-weary. He drops his sword. He drops to his knees. And just begins to sing.

Meditations on Psalm 27 - Day 2

2011-02-22T22:57:00.002-05:00

One thing have I asked of the LORD,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to inquire in his temple.
Psalm 27:4

Like Isaiah who came after him, the king must've seen something of the King. A flowing robe that fills the temple. The elements of sacrifice and worship all around. The smell of the incense, sweet fragrance mingling with the sharpness of burnt coals. Gold and the vaulted ceilings, fire and those who cry out in unceasing worship day and night. And the glory, and the splendor, and the majesty.

And Him. Above all.

What would it be like to dwell so close to the Lord? David sought after it, and Jesus said there was a mansion with many rooms. At the end of the age the redeemed will dwell in the New Jerusalem, where there will be no temple because the Lord will be with His people. And once Adam and Eve dwelt with Him. What would it be like to linger in the Lord's space?

The battle approaches and the armies upon the horizon begin their rallying cry. David runs not to his army or his sword, but to His God, forever unmovable, seated upon His throne. He shuts the doors of the temple, shuts away the outside world. And it's just him and the Lord. As David finds the solace he seeks one can almost imagine the Lord saying, "And what are you running from? Does it really matter so much here in this place with Me?"

Dwelling in the place of the Lord. Being able to look at Him whenever he wanted, like a child always making sure their father is with them. Being able to ask Him a question whenever he wanted, such an approachable friend. To curl up with Him in safety. To walk with Him and fear no harm or concern. The Lord is the stronghold of my life. Of whom shall I be afraid?

The sounds of the army outside make no difference in this place, where holiness and eternity and love converge.

Meditations on Psalm 27 - Day 1

2011-02-21T22:31:00.002-05:00

This week I'll be taking a look at Psalm 27...

The LORD is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?

When evildoers assail me
to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.

Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet I will be confident.

Psalm 27:1-3

It's a dark battlefield. In the blue-gray of dawn David can see the pitched tents dotting the landscape. He has been here before. It is never easy. Fog burns away from the Judean rocks and hills, and the day will be hot, and savage. Weaponry clangs. Men awake. The army encamped around them wakes also, men like the man Goliath who, years ago, wanted flesh and mocked the very God of Creation. The young soldiers in his army don't make eye contact with him. They stare at the dust, trembling in their armor, pale with expectation and fear. They don't want to face this day, dragging behind in their souls. Their minds don't touch the reality. They try to become something that isn't themselves. They try to breath and the air is thin.

David knows there is no panic, yet death is near. The violent men beyond the brush and stones of the land of Israel want to see nothing but blood. Pierced chests. Cut throats. Broken bones. Spoils of war. Dead Israelites. Dead hope.

Yet there is hope.

Above the battlefield is a sky, so large and expansive, blue and high and escaping to all directions. It is bright, and above the scene. And beautiful. David's eyes linger upon high clouds and a rising sun, forgetting himself in the beauty of creation. But he doesn't just see creation. He sees the One whose hand formed all of the sky, the hills, the rocks, even these men, even his own body, the One who wrote the story of this day in the Book long before day even existed. There is a plan here.

To Love God's Will

2011-02-18T23:15:00.002-05:00

In an email today a friend wrote the phrase "Loving God's will." When I read that, it resonated with me, and brought up a host of questions: DO I love God's will? Or do I mainly just put up with it? HOW can I love His will? Isn't praying for His will to be done enough? Do I have to love it, or can I just be indifferent to it?

God's will is His plan, one that He constructed before the beginning of time. God's will includes the knowledge of all things that will happen, and the execution of all things so that they will happen according to the plan He made. God's will can be hidden from us, but there are parts of God's will that are revealed for us to follow.

One of the best things, it seems, is to pray God's will. Completely Biblical in nature, it is acknowledging His sovereignty and exclaiming that His purposes are higher and more important than ours. Sometimes when a situation seems impossible we pray God's will - "Lord, Your will be done." But it's even more of a challenge to pray God's will for a situation in which we want a certain result - "Lord, I want it to turn out a certain way, but Your will be done" - which is the surrender to the fact that God's plan may be different from our own. And when God's plan IS different from our own, are we Ok with that?

In fact, can we love that? Can we love that God's plan maybe be different from our own? Can we hate the result, but still love His will?

It seems that the root of loving God's will doesn't come from what the result is. In fact, it's a conditional love that only loves when circumstances or actions turn out in a favorable way to us. ("If God heals my friend, then I will love Him.") It's quite dangerous, and certainly dishonoring, if we loved Him only according to how much we like how He chose to run things! So the love for His will must not come from the result of what His will is.

I think a love for God's will comes from a love for Him. An unconditional (as much as we humans can get!) love for Him. That no matter what He chooses for us we love Him, and therefore love the will and plan that flows from Him. But it has to start with Him. And surrendering enough of ourselves to love Him for who He is, not for what He can do for us.

It always has to start with Him. With loving the Lord with all the heart, soul, mind, and strength. Out of that all right things flow.

Body of Sin: Romans 6:6

2011-02-17T20:07:00.000-05:00

We know that our old self was crucified with Him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.
Romans 6:6

Two thoughts came into my head as I was reading this: The idea of the body of sin being individualistic and plural in nature, and the idea of Christ, the hope of glory, in us (Col. 1:27).

The term "body of sin" is an interesting phrase to ponder. In context, Paul speaks in a collective "we," yet the application he makes seems to be towards the individual. For salvation is, inherently, an individual process. Yet Christ also died for a body, His Church. On first reading the doctrine of Paul's theological observance would be of our individual salvation, and that the "body of sin" would be our individual bodies of sin - our "old self." But in the same way, Christ's death, burial, and resurrection was for a foreknown collection of individuals that He called the Church - literally "called out ones," ekklesia - and therefore the "old self" could be read as the collective identity of a body (the Roman Church, or the Church at large, the Gentiles, the Jews, etc.). In that sense the "body of sin" could be seen as the entire community. Jesus brings the body of sin to nothing - individuals, and communities, cities even (I'm thinking of Nineveh, or the cities in Revelation), or even nations (all will bow to Him at the end of the age). It's like Jesus is working through the crowd, spreading resurrection life until all sin is purged out.

Christ in us, the hope of glory. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. No longer a slave to sin. Through the Spirit putting to death the deeds of the flesh. A question comes up in my mind: Are we fighting sin, or are we simply the field upon which the Lord fights sin? If in our weakness His strength is made perfect, and if our flesh is being dampened and choked every day, but if it is by no will of ours (certainly our will is depraved), then who is doing the work? And if it is indeed Him who fights the darkness, the depraved bleakness of our sin, then shouldn't we do everything to try and get out of His way? But here I am in ill-fitting armor thinking I can carry a sword, getting in the way of the Lord of Hosts who is trying to fight, and I'm tripping Him up. (Maybe not.) But the illustration serves well.

He is putting to death this body of sin, so that His Bride may shine forth in the earth.

Losing the Moral Compass: The Aftermath of the Gaza Flotilla

2011-02-16T20:05:00.000-05:00

An op-ed from last year that never saw the light of day. Enjoy:

In the aftermath of the Gaza flotilla incident, to find a voice of reason and support for Israel among the voices of condemnation, virulent hatred, or ambivalence was nearly impossible. Even though the truth of Israel's actions has been made known to the world, with video and accounts to prove the sick ambush from "peace activists," the nations still condemn her in hyperbolic, nonsensical ways. Yet through the irrational slander surfaced voices that not only supported Israel, but also recognized the West's grave error in its fashionable condemnation of Israel: refusal to call what's right right, and wrong wrong.

Absurdity followed the flotilla incident: videos of the IDF soldiers being attacked on the Mavi Marmara surfaced the very day of the boarding on news channels in Israel; the day after, information of the boat's radical agenda was made public. Yet from the start, world opinion was critical towards Israel, and did not change when it had the facts in hand. The obvious bias against Israel was shamefully demonstrated, and as Shelby Steele observed in his article "Israel and the Surrender of the West" (Wall Street Journal, 21 June 2010), "[the IDF] were acting in a world without the moral authority to give them the benefit of the doubt." Turkey's radical vocal response, and the calling for investigations into Israel and not into the flotilla's purpose, showed a strange one-sidedness, a pre-formed condemnation that will ignore fact. Israel is being delegitimized by the Western world, and for what reason? Its own self-defense? For merely existing? Hasn't it been the plight of the Jews for centuries to be condemned for simply still being around?

But Mr. Steele's words addressed another matter: the moral character of the West. He stated examples of how a post-modern civilization can paralyze itself: "Today we in the West are reluctant to use our full military might in war lest we seem imperialistic; we hesitate to enforce our borders lest we seem racist; we are reluctant to ask for assimilation from new immigrants lest we seem xenophobic; and we are pained to give Western Civilization primacy in our educational curricula lest we seem supremacist." Jose Maria Aznar, the former Prime Minister of Spain, echoed these thoughts in his bold article "If Israel Goes Down, We All Go Down" (London Times, 17 June 2010). He spoke of the West's confusion of identity caused "by the rule of political correctness; by a multiculturalism that forces us to our knees before others; and by a secularism which, irony of ironies, blinds us even when we are confronted by jihadis promoting the most fanatical incarnation of their faith." They are right. We are paralyzed by our own post-modernity, crippled by our political correctness, too eager to make the bad guys the good and the good guys the bad. It's these qualities - political correctness, multiculturalism, and secularism - that say it's Ok to build a mosque near the World Trade Center site not even a decade after the ideology behind the mosque planned that attack. In fact, it is to our detriment to believe we can successfully politically maneuver with ideology, and make a comfortable two state solution in Israel with two people who value different things. The irony is that we in the West first jump to the side of those of the culture of death, radical Islam, who have easily deceived us to seeing Israel as the "evil ones" in the Middle East. We vilify Israel for defending their own lives, and we appease Iran as Ahmadinejad, like Hitler, devises another Final Solution.

Maybe there is something gone awry with our morals.

Perhaps a clue can be found in Mr. Aznar's closing observation. Attributing Western civilization's very character to its Judeo-Christian roots, he declares that "If the Jewish element of those roots is upturned and Israel is lost, then we are lost too." This is the reason for the West's deficiency of moral steadfastness: we have forgotten our past. We have forgotten where we came from; we are branches showing arrogance to the very trunk that we grew from. Creation is being challenged by evolution, Mosaic law and objective moral truth are being erased by relativism, and God's image-bearers and those who gave us the Law, the Jewish people, are still being threatened with annihilation. The West is attempting to erase God Himself from its history, and arrogantly thinks it can go on without Him into its future. But Israel, if condemned and destroyed, is not just another country falling by the wayside. It would be the light to the nations snuffed out, a loss of history and the loss of all hope of a future.

On the Horizon for Iran

2011-02-15T22:32:00.000-05:00

Tunisia. Egypt. Bahrain. Iran.

It's been an interesting few weeks as the earth shakes in the Middle East.

For eighteen days the Egyptian people came to life, rising up against a long-standing regime. Their cries and chants deposed the 30-year rule of their president. Time will tell what road Egypt journeys down, but for now free elections and democracy - a representation in government - is what the people are running after. A chance to be heard.

After all, isn't that what we all want?

The Iranian people began to buck their government a year and a half ago after the "free" elections held in the country got Ahmadinejad back in power. Considered by many to be a rigged election (for obvious reasons), the people of Iran, feeling unfairly treated, took to the streets. The revolution spread through the elements of the modern youth generation: Facebook, Twitter, YouTube. The government came against those who wanted change.

We're seeing similar now. Dominoes are falling in the Middle East, and the protests, and success, of those in Egypt must have affected the Iranians, not only in an immediate sense, but perhaps in a "get the job finished" sense. The protests of 2009 were left in a cliffhanger. What now will 2011 bring?

Ironically, February 8 saw the worldwide release of a new documentary, Iranium, about the Iranian nuclear threat and the regime's dangerous ideology that drives the nation at the expense of its people. The fanatic tunnelvision of the Iranian leadership - pushing an Islamic end-of-days agenda into which the nuclear aspirations play - has no room for regular people who just want to be recognized as regular people. Which is why Iran's regime is pushing back, even calling for the death of those who are daring to oppose them. a serious threat from a country who, I heard on the news tonight, hangs someone every 9 hours.
The Middle East is in an interesting upheaval right now (not that the Middle East has ever been stable). What it will mean for lone democratic Israel, we're not sure for right now. What it will mean for the fundamentalist jihadist groups who would love to slip in and take over, we're not sure. But we're witnessing people yearning to be free, willing to make the sacrifice.